It draws near...

Well, Bloodline continues to move forward.I've just sent it out to Bold Films (Legion, now in theaters) and I'm going to get it out to a few others over the coming weeks.

In the meantime, it continues to develop simultaneously as a comic book. I've got four of the five pages I need to start submitting it to comic companies, and hopefully I can get some sort of cross-marketed comic/movie thing going.

In the meantime, I thought I'd post the first 4 pages, just to give you guys a taste of what's been done, and maybe see if I can't catch someone's eye along the way. These are the pencils of Jeff McGee, artist extraordinaire from Lawrence, KS.

I hope you enjoy, I've really dug his work so far:  (click to enlarge)

External Linkage

So, completely pissed that I didn't get to the screening of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World last night. I didn't even know it was screening until about an hour after it had finished. Thanks subscription services, where the hell where you on that one?

Anyway, Lots of things for you to read. Articles up all around:

http://www.brutalashell.com/2010/01/dead-zombies-make-warm-bodies/ and
http://bthroughz.com/2010/january/mirror.html and
http://bthroughz.com/2010/january/dream.html
Go read now, question your sanity later!

The Lovely Bones

Its 2010, and the movie with the honor of being my first for the year is The Lovely Bones, Directed by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, of course) and based on the novel by Alice Sebold. I haven't read the book, so this is based completely on the merits of the movie.

And... um, its probably a better book.

Not that the quality isn't there. Most of the issues seem to lie in the Direction. Here Peter Jackson has shown his mastery of film my making some very tense and heartfelt moments, and at the same time ruined some of the drama with his own misplaced sense of humor. The reverence he'd shown Lord of the Rings is not present here (in fact, he's added some references to Lord of the Rings into this film).

But we're getting ahead, here. The film, if you've missed its scant marketing campaign, is about a 14 year-old girl who is raped and murdered on her way home from school. The story then follows her as she looks on from limbo, between Heaven and Earth, watching over her family as they move on with their lives and search for justice. The girl, Susie Salmon, finds she is able to influence the actions of her family by pressing outwards with her rage and emotion. But she has to weigh the value of catching her killer, versus letting her family find relief in letting her death go and moving on.

I went into this expecting the ultimate drama. Well, I suppose my lofty expectations were bound to be disappointed, but not in the ways I thought they would be. Generally, I just didn't like the handling of the story.

 Everything starts out well enough, the family drama is introduced, Susie's everyday life is brought before us with vibrant energy, making her loss of life all the more tragic.Much of the trouble begins when Susie confronts her killer in the cornfield of her eventual demise. Steve Tucci (somehow nominated for a Golden Globe for this performance) breathes heavily and grumbles, giggles, and mutters his way over to the girl in the most obvious "I'm going to rape you" manner possible. Rather than a serious depiction of a friendly neighbor who turns, with no warning, into a dangerous predator, we're treated to a Snidely Whiplash with a hard-on, practically twirling his mustache all the time he's on screen. It felt more like an after school special than a movie for adults.

Rachel Weisz, also terrible, though I can't say I've ever been a big fan.

Aside from that the cast was pretty excellent in all their roles. Of most note is Saoirse Ronan (The Accuser), who plays Susie, the victim. She fits right into the 70's motif that the film uses, and plays her part with such vitality and earnestness; every scene she was in worked very well, and she brought a lot of life and character to the film, where Weisz and Tucci had just sucked it right away.Though I was always glad to see her pop back onto the screen and ghost it up a little, her role was far from what I expected. The Trailer led me to believe  that Susie would take a more proactive role in solving her murder. Rather, she was mostly sent to run around in CG fields of grass, and add a pretty pointless narration. I suppose the purpose was to use lines from the book to supplicate fans, but the movie is so visually strong, and so much of the story can be told visually, the narration feels forced and comes off as annoying... kind of like the way Blade Runner's narration ruined the theatrical cut.

The worst addition to the film, though, is Peter Jackson's sense of humor. I realize that the story takes place over two years time, and that in that time, it would not be unreasonable for the family to discover laughter again. But in a very personal story about RAPING and MURDERING a 14 year old girl I don't feel a joke-filled montage of a drunk Susan Sarandon botching the housework feels necessary. I would feel like a more natural laughter scene at the dinner table, followed by the family feeling guilty for laughing without Susie, something like that might be a bit more appropriate.

Though, while Jackson tends to fail at delivering drama, he does so well at giving us terror. Action and horror are where this guy thrives. There are moments, such as when Susie's ghost, wandering lost and confused, first enters the afterlife and conjures up an image of her killer, that are really disturbing. Tucci is isolated in a washed out white environment, naked in a bathtub, soaking water dirtied with mud and blood. On a sink floating to the side in space lay a bloodied razor blade. Tucci, though sitting normally in the tub with a rag over his face, is filmed in such a way to seem so grimy, so dirty, against the white background he seems so perverse and disgusting. Revulsion creeps over Susie's face as she realizes her own fate.

There's also a short, but fantastic chase sequence near the film's climax between the killer and Susie's little sister. Its set up so well, you start to curl right out of your seat from the tension, and the gasps of a couple audience members were audible.

Despite some great visuals, a couple good performances, and tension for days, Lovely Bones just has too many flaws to be an excellent film, and comes off as somewhat forgettable. I might suggest saving the price of admission, and using the ticket money to invest in the critically acclaimed, best selling book, which is apparently some sort of modern classic. No doubt, it takes its subject just a bit more seriously.

"These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections — sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent — that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events my death brought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous lifeless body had been my life."

The One to Bookmark: Upcoming in 2010

Balls!! A rocky start. My screening for Youth in Revolt was overbooked, so I couldn't get it. I did, however, get passes for The Lovely Bones as a consolation prize, so that could rock, if I have time next Tuesday to get in there.

Anyway, 2009 has passed, and I've named the definitive best ofs for the year, so lets kill some time looking ahead at what comes in this, the year we make contact.

The Highlights:

Daybreakers- January 8th- The first exciting release of 2010, it features Sam Neil and Willem Dafoe in a world that is controlled and peopled by Vampires. I like to think of this one as a spiritual successor to Blade, a 'What If?' taking a look at a world where Stephen Dorf, as La Magra, managed to convert the world into vampires... simultaneously starving all of his people, who rely on human blood for food. Idiot.

Anyway, the idea is solid. Vampirism, in the movie world, is transferred by a bite, from an immortal group of people who need to feed daily on normal humans. It would only be natural that they would eventually overtake the normal human population. And then what? What do they do for food? How does a world that can only go outside at night possibly function?

It looks like a cool vamp flick, good cast, and there's some sort of weird blood mutation they have to fight for a little action to mix with the drama. Draction, if you will.

Book of Eli- January 15th- I hate the visual style of this film. Unlike The Road, where they painstakingly recreated or built burned out city husks to simulate the post apocalypse, Book of Eli uses some sloppy cgi on the backdrop. The discerning eye can pretty easily pick out where the sets end and the cg buildings begin.

Ah well, the concept is cool enough. Gary Oldman (the most badass actor, perhaps ever) is an influencial conman using his control over resources to hold the city in his grasp, but he sees his control beginning to waver. Enter Eli, a wanderer with a valuable possession: the last known copy of the Bible. Oldman seeks to take the Bible, and use it to sermonize to the people, controlling them by faith. But Eli happens to be a kung fu marine of the highest caliber.

Could go either way, but for Oldman and Denzel Washington as Eli, I'll give it a shot.

Legion- January 22nd- God is pissed off at mankind, and sends a plague of angels down to start a systematic genocide of the human race. Standing in their way is a single angel, who loves humanity, and gives up his halo to defend a single baby who is the redemption of us all.

Make no mistake, this movie looks terribly cheesy... but in the best way. Angels fighting and really loose interpretations of Biblical prophecy; if only there were a way to cram Chuck Norris in there somewhere. Looks fun, anyway.

Frozen- February 5th- Three teens sneak onto a ski-lift late-night, hoping for one last dash down the slopes. Their timing is off, though, as the resort closes down for the holiday weekend, leaving the kids stuck on the lift over a four day weekend. With a blizzard on the way, the teens have to find a way to drop down safely, slide down the cables, or risk freezing to death.

The trailer looks awful, but word is that the suspense in this movie is keenly directed, and the editing, with a believable cast, pull it off.

Maybe its just a publicity stunt, but someone did faint during the festival screening. Can it really live up to that intensity?

The Wolfman- February 12th- If you read regularly, you know I've already gotten to see this one, and its pretty good. A retelling of the Lon Cheney classic, a man is bitten by a wolf and turns into a wolf/man hybrid during the full moon.

Most of the cerebral story-line has been removed from his movie now, but I think it'll benefit from it. Its just a big, dumb, creature feature, but we don't exactly watch the 30's one for its tremendous social commentary.

Shutter Island - February 19th- Leo Dicaprio is a Federal Marshall investigating the disappearance of an inmate from an island asylum. As he starts getting close the a criminal secret kept by the hospital's doctors and staff, he finds himself suffering from (probably drug induced) delusions, and trapped amongst the island's inmates.

I think I've already guessed the ending to the movie, but we'll see. I like Dicaprio and Scorsese, and the trailer looks adequately creepy, so we'll see. Of course, the movie got pushed back four months for reshoots, so that means some group out there hated it, but general word on the new cut is positive. A nice change of pace for Scorsese, getting away from the cop and gangster dramas.

The Crazies- February 26th- Remake of the George Romero film (the modest success of which would fund Dawn of the Dead), a town is infected by a chemical-carried disease which drives them to hysterics. A family fights to escape, as their friends turn into lunatics around them, and the military seeks the eradication of the entire populace, them included.

Not Romero's best, and I didn't think we needed yet another 28 Weeks later attempt at revamping the zombie legacy... but man this trailer looks solid. I'm sold.

Alice in Wonderland- March 5th- Not so sold on this one. Alice in Wonderland, we know, little girl, rabbits, hatters, etc. This version features an older Alice returning to Wonderland to, essentially, live through all of the exact same adventures she'd had as a little girl.

Visually its hit and miss. I like the warping on Helena Bonham Carter, and the Cheshire Cat looks great, but The Mad Hatter? Johnny Depp comes off looking like a cross between Elijah Woods and Madonna, with a bit of Joker make-up for good measure. Tim Burton is really hit (Mars Attacks!) and miss (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) for me. I'll give it a shot, but I don't expect much. I expect people will hail the designs as brilliant just for the sake of being weird, and totally dismiss the fact that he's a pretty awful storyteller.

Brooklyn's Finest- March 5th- Four different cops struggle with corruption in their own ways. One is embittered and seeks retirement, one wants a taste of the drug money he sees, one gets lost in his undercover facade, and another fears following that same path.

This could be tame, as the story isn't exactly new ground, but there's always the potential in a cop drama. You get a lot of crappy ones out there, but then something like Heat comes along and redefines the genre. Geere, Chidle, and Wesley effin' Snipes all look pretty great here, so it might be worth checking out.

Greenburg- March 12th- Ben Stiller plays a middle-aged man who isn't good at anything, doesn't really enjoy anything, and wonders if there's more to life than just plodding along, getting run over by the more ambitious.

'Mumble Core' seems to be the net-name for this kind of film. Soft-spoken, pleading, character driven films that appeal to dis-associated Gen X and Y'ers. Stiller is best when he's in goofball mode, but I think he could make this one pretty workable. A good rainy day afternoon movie, when you're feeling bland, and want something to match that mood.

Clash of the Titans- March 26th - A titan against a titan! Remake of the Harry Hamlin classic. Man, that old one's such a good movie. This one could suffer from being too overdone, one of those ADD films that tries waaay to hard to overshoot the original (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, just mentioned, comes to mind) but I think it comes off like that due to the trailer editing. Everything looks pretty good, so far. Great design on Medusa and the Kraken both. And as long as they make this a mostly visual update, I think it will come out pretty excellent. Hopefully a new generation will be inspired to check out the Harryhausen animation work in the original. High School kids do still learn the myth of Perseus, right?

How to Train your Dragon- march 26th - A nerdy Viking kid seeks to gain glory in his village by slaying a dragon, only to befriend one and be invited to their society. On the eve of a viking/dragon war, he unites with his friend to save their peoples.

Its a pretty simple story... why, it almost resembles Avatar! But the animation looks good, and Dreamworks puts out some pretty good stuff that generally has a different humor than your usual animated fare. That is, as long as they avoid franchises...

If this had an 80's metal soundtrack, to compliment the vikings and dragons, it'd be complete.

I love you, Phillip Morris-March 26th- Je Suis Homo! Not sure why, but the trailer to this cracks me up. Can it really be so simple as having the straight Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor making out?

Here JC is a typical family man who, after surviving a life-changing car accident, realizes he's gay. He's arrested after conning a series of lavish gifts from vendors for his gay lovers, and in prison finds love with Ewan McGregor. After finding his release, he does everything in his power to get Ewan out of jail, or himself back in.

This looks hugely raunchy. Good to see Carrey back in outrageous form. I like his dramatic turns, but his comedy really has to have a chance to be out there. His family friendly comedies are all crap.

Hottub Time Machine- March 26th- This one will either be amazingly good or terribly bad. Even if its only as funny as, say, The Goods, I'll be pretty happy. The Goods has a similar cast, and while not a comedy classic, was just out there enough to be worthwhile.

Still, the concept is so bizarre, I don't think anyone would have gone through with it if the jokes weren't there in the script. And John Cusack, while not completely gifted with the touch of gold (2012), still fills me with hope.

Date Night- April 9th- A little pedestrian, but I love both Steve Carell and Tina Fey. I think it'll surprise some people'

Kick Ass- April 16th- Here's one of the films I'm most looking forward to for next year. Based on the comic, writer Mark Millar produced and found funding to put this movie together on his own, after Hollywood failed to help him. After rave reviews from comic convention audiences, he finally got an audience. Here is one of those great triumphs of independent film creation.

The trailer, while hilarious, isn't indicative of the plot. A losery comic fan gets tired of crime in his neighborhood, and dons tights to become a super-hero. He gets a pair of sticks, chooses the name Kick-Ass, and beats the crap out of muggers. Soon, he finds that the world of super heroes is real and bigger than he thought, threatening to overwhelm him.

Yeah, looks awesome. Based on a decent comic, so expect good things. Nice to see Nick Cage in a role I have faith in.

Nightmare on Elm Street- April 30th- Remake of the classic, telling the origin of Freddy Krueger and his first outing as the nightmare killer of teenage dreams. It has a really sharp look, and features Jackie Earl Halie (Rorschach of Watchmen) as a more realistic, sadistic Freddy.

The interesting notion of this one is that its not completely sure, unlike the original, if Freddy actually is a child molester, or if he's just some poor guy the town picked as a scapegoat and burned alive. Interesting angle.

Current reports, though, show this movie tested poorly in screenings and is in reshoots right now to correct some major story oversights. Gotta hope they get this one right, Freddy is a great character idea, and has too much potential to be wasted so.

Iron Man 2- May 7th- You know this one. Oh man, friggin' excited. This time around, Iron Man's armor is trying to be taken by the US Gov't, being hailed as a deadly weapon. Though Tony is able to put on a good public face, he secretly is still hounded by his family's legacy as warmongers. Representative of this shadow is Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, who develops a power source that mirrors the Iron Man armor's, transforming himself into a whip wielding agent of destruction, aimed at Tony. Also introduced is Scarlett Johansen as Black Widow, industrial spy. To help against this pair of ne'er do-wells, Rhodey (now Don Cheadle, replacing Terrance Howard) leverages the complaints of the US Gov into a power suit of his own, War Machine.

Robin Hood- May 14th- Robin Hood, filmed in the style of Braveheart. I recall when Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves came out, how we were finally getting a more realistic version of the classic tale to replace the old '38 one with Errol Flynn, which had become cheesy.

Going back to it now, Prince of Thieves is terribly cheesy, to the point where I can't watch it. The '38 one is now totally cool and kitschy. Ah, the circular nature of time.

I dunno if this movie is really needed or not, but I'll give it a shot.

Prince of Persia- May 28th- This one may end up being the best video game movie ever made... not that that's aiming particularly high. I think this one is supposed to be the new 'Pirates' franchise for Jerry Bruckheimer, since Pirates 4 seems to be on the rocks now. Looks like it has the potential to live up to it. My one complaint: Jake Gyllenhall, cool as he is, is not Persian. I guess this is another one for my 'badass white guy' movie list.

Toy Story 3- June 18th- Yep, they're back. I'm a little apprehensive about it, but so far Pixar hasn't made a bad movie. Not all are equal, but certainly not a single bad movie. Impressive.

This time around we see Andy moving off to college, and the toys afraid of being left behind and no longer played with. They manage to work their way into a preschool, to be played with by a swarm of young 'uns, only to have to break back out after nearly being torn apart. Somewhere in there, Buzz goes crazy and starts speaking Spanish.

The Last Airbender- July 2nd- Lookin' ok so far. This is based on the Anime about a kid who is the last of his Monk's order which controlled the elemental forces of the air (bending it, as it were). He battles the armies of the fire Monk, because fire-guys are always evil in stuff like this.

The big surprise about this one is that M. Night Shymalon is directing it. Its absolutely nothing like his prior works, though the last few were pretty crappy. He's a great technical director, though, so here's hoping he works well in a movie that doesn't have room for a twist ending. Of course, if this movie fails, it could be the twist at the end of his career, so we'll see.

Predator 3- July 7th- Dammit! I already had this idea/synopsis written up, and someone beat me to the chase. A group of hunters get wind of the adventures of Arnold in the jungle from the first movie, and chase the Predators down, hoping to turn the tables on the whole hunter/prey scenario. Well, sad as I am that I don't get the chance to write up this script now, Robert Rodriguez got a hold of it, so I can do nothing but sit back and wait for the eventual pile of awesome that he'll serve up to me.

Inception- July 16th- No idea what the fuck this movie is about. I know that Leo Dicaprio is a good actor, and Chris Nolan (Prestige, Dark Knight) is pretty much flawless so far. It looks cool, it sounds cool, and it appears to be about the power of ideas, a world of the mind, the possibility of thought crime; I gather Leo is a psychic who travels into peoples' brains and steals thoughts from the city scape that represents their thoughts, but that's just speculative. I didn't know what the Matrix was about going into it either, hoping for the same pleasant surprise here.

Dinner for Schmucks- July 23rd- A comedy remake with Steve Carell. A group of really snobby know-it-alls have a dinner once a month and challenge eachother to bring the stupidest person they can find to dinner, and get them to talk for as long as possible to the amusement of the group.

The schmuck, in this case, is Carell. Good original movie, but it was French, IIRC, and not particularly accessible. This should be fun.

The Other Guys- August 6th- From the Anchorman crew, if you like their stuff. It focuses on a couple of cops, Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlburg, who are essentially all the other cops in a Lethal Weapon movie. They keep getting shown up by this one particular pair of black guy/white guy buddy cops, and plot to steal their 'big case' away from them, and take the limelight themselves. Sounds like great parody material to me.

Ramona- August 13th- Based on the Beverly Cleary kids' books. This was a great series when I was a kid. Hopefully the whimsy comes through on the screen. About time Cleary's writings came to screen. Have they before? Edit: Yep, it was a TV series a few years back. Missed that completely.

The Expendables- August 13th- Bruce Willis, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Lundgren, all in one movie. This action flick is a send up of all the cheesy 80's action greats, and has all their stars and villains making appearances. If you're a twenty or thirty something, this is a must see.

Priest- August 16th- I dont' know much about this one, except its about a Priest who's family is kidnapped by Vampires, and he uses his holy powers to save them. Sounds cool enough. This will probably be my birthday movie.

Due Date- November 5th- From the guys who made The Hangover. And, really, it sounds almost exactly like The Hangover, but more about babies. A guy needs to get from one city to another to attend the birth of his first child, and hitches a lift with a crazy guy who gets him totally lost. Not much to it, but it doesn't need to be a lot. Could be very Planes, Trains, and Automobiles-like. Either way, its got Robert Downey Jr. in it, and I'll watch about anything with that guy.

Megamind- November 5th- Dreamworks is crankin' them out this year. Megamind is the titular character, a supervillain who manages to kill his super hero adversary... and then without all of his crazy revenge plots suddenly has no reason to exist. Convinced that he needs a new challenge, he trains "Titan" to replace the old hero. His plan goes amok when Titan decides to be a villain, with his sights set on nothing short of world domination, and only the man who trained him can stop him.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1- November 19th- Part 7 Part 1. By now you all know HP, and here we are on the final adventure. The book was epic, so expect a lot from the movie. Breaking it into two parts to make it extra long was probably a good idea, you really want everything from that book to be in these movies. Part 2 comes six months later, so that's not a bad wait... and wasn't part 6 just a few months ago? I guess that one had been pushed back some.

Looking back, I'm glad they were able to keep the kids for the entire series. There was talk around movie #4 of replacing them, fearing they were growing old too fast, and would outstrip the characters. Keeping the core group in their respective roles has really added weight to the series, though, and I'm sure I'm not alone in having enjoyed watching the group grow and develop as actors as well as characters. Who knew Daniel Radcliffe would end up becoming a pretty decent actor? And would get naked on stage? Its a good thing he's working for WB, not Disney. That would have gotten him fired so quick with them...

Narnia- Voyage of the Dawn Treader- December 10th- Ah, back in the Christmas slot, where this really needs to be. Narnia has been an odd one to follow. The first movie, Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, debuted to fairly strong reviews and was a generally faithful adaptation of the book, which also managed to add in a few bits of its own (actually showing the bombing of England, for example). It was #1 for two weekends, and was a new Holiday franchise for Disney. I remember people crying when Aslan gets sacrificed in the film, and the cheering at his return. Four sequels were announced.

Somehow, by the time part 2, Prince Caspian, came around, nobody cared anymore. Maybe people were just tired of fantasy epics, or maybe it really was the move to the summer (Iron Man killed this film, week after week of its short run). It still did ok at the box office, but it didn't come close to matching its predecessor. So, surprisingly, Disney sold the franchise.

Now fox is here, ready to make a mess of the franchise like they did with the X-Men series, and so many other beloved properties. Much of the team came over in the move, so we can hope the series has the same level of quality of the previous films. This is a testing ground for Narnia. If it does well here, we'll get to see the last two chapters made. Another luke-warm reception and Dawn Treader will sink the franchise.

Tron: Legacy- December 17th- This one's been in the works for quite some time. The cast came back to reprise their roles, just showing how much more interest geek-chic has gained over the years. When I was a kid, this movie was mocked and derided. Over time its become a monument of pop fandom, and a sequel only seems natural in current Hollywood.

Not sure exactly what its about, seems Jeff Bridges went back into the Tron system, and became a lost wanderer of the internet, now being hunted down by his son, who follows in his footsteps. Some great de-aging done of Jeff Daniels here. All round, looks like a quality production. You can tell everyone working on it is excited and they have taken their time to fine-tune every aspect. This will probably be the show stopper at the end of the year.

Paul- (TBD)- Finally a follow up from Simon Pegg and co to Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Here the usual suspects play a couple of sci-fi and comic nerds who happen across the wreckage of an alien named Paul, and use their geek knowledge to help him find a way home. Fingers crossed for more of these guys' magic.

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World - (TBD)- Based on the comic series by Brian Lee O'Malley, which is nothing but wit and charm. Scott gets a new girlfriend he's crazy about, but is it love? Seems standing between himself and her heart are the femme's seven evil ex-boyfriends. Scott has to battle and defeat the seven exes and their evil mechanizations for world power to earn and secure true love.

Finally, a use for Michael Cera! I've liked this kid since Arrested Development and Juno, but he really hasn't had a good time to stretch his legs, despite having constant work the last couple years. I mean, Year One was less than stellar. Maybe here he'll come out of his shell a little.

Let Me In- (TBD)- A remake of Let the Right One In, a vampire movie that was one of my favorites from last year. US remakes always run the risk of being pretty craptastic, but this one is piecing together well so far. They got some good kids to act in it Chloe Moritz (of the previously mentioned Kick Ass) and Owen Smit-McPhee (The Road) are the first glimmer of hope. This was still pretty artsy for a vamp flick, though. Gotta hope the director has the proper respect for the source material, book or movie or both.

Solomon Kane- (TBD)- Might go straight to video, but we'll see. An inquisition era warrior puts his soul on the line to save a girl from a flock of escaped demons that roam the Earth. Based on the book series by the author of Conan.

Looks pretty good, great design work on the baddies. Solomon is one of those characters that's just a little too bad ass for his own good, but that's about what you get from the Pulp guys. Good action-y fun.

That's what I've got for now, and there will be more announced as time goes by, of course. Somewhere in there we're supposed to get a Conan movie and, theoretically, the long delayed 3 Stooges movie with Jim Carrey and Benecio Del Toro. Year's looking great for popcorn flicks, but only time will tell if and where our movies of substance will come from. Still, can't complain about a year with a lot of fun movies, either. 2009 was full of disappointments, really, and only a few highlights, like Trek and District 9. 2010 is lookin' better already.

And coming soon, the Lowlights of 2010.

Aristocrat Awards 2009: Winners

Well, its happened, 2009 has ended. I have now seen every movie worth seeing in the year (with the exception of Willem Dafoe in Anti-christ, which never came out here) and many that weren't. So, here's the best of film for the year, from my perspective.

Now, a little complaint I have here: film release schedules. The Academy and its sponsors complain every year that the ratings are going down on the Oscars. So, they think, maybe if the shows were more mainstream? Right? Throwing Dark Knight a bone is what got it to spike last year, yeah? Maybe Twilight needs to be up for an award to get people interested.

No Academy, no. The problem is not that you need to get crap-tastic, lesser films included in your line-up for your pop appeal. The problem is that you, and Hollywood, haven't given anyone a chance to see the movies. Take, for example, Golden Globes nominee Crazy Heart, which has Jeff Bridges up for Best Actor. Now, the Golden Globes will show on January 17th, and I have a press pass to see Crazy Heart's advance screening on... January 19th? The movie doesn't even start for two weeks after that!

And what's in the theater now that's up for Oscars and Golden Globes? The Lovely Bones, playing on 3 screens, Crazy Heart is on 12 screesn, The Road on 311 screens, Precious on 626 screens. To put this in perspective, your average wide release is about 3,000 screens nationwide. Young Victoria is in the Best Actress category, is only on a few hundred screens, and has only been out for 2 weekends.

If you want to know why no one is watching the Oscars anymore, its because no one has seen the movies. They can't care about the titles alone. Studios hope that the Oscars will act as a marketing push for the artsy films, but its become a self-defeating effort. If no one's watching, then who's getting the benefit of the promotion? And looking back at old Best Picture winners, was Ghandi a financial failure? Was American Beauty? Was Schindler's List?

It seems to me that if you make a quality product, and put it in peoples' faces, that it will make money. Keyword: Quality. Sad to think that these days, something like Tom Hanks in Philidelphia would only get 150 screens to play on in the last week of December.

Okay, rant over, lets get to some damn movies (click the links for trailer if you are unfamiliar with the film). Who's going to win the Aristocrat Award? Each winner will, in theory, receive a golden statue of Stan Lee flipping the bird.

Best Score- Star Trek

This was probably my favorite film of the year, just for the fun of it, and this had to win something. Happily, it had a really epic score, so I stuck it here. I almost gave this to Moon, for its very personal and haunting music... but I'm a Star Wars fan from way back, and huge orchestral battle scores just get my blood pumping. Also, they managed to mix the original show's music in very nicely at the end, with the revised theme song over the credits. Dug the hell out of it.

Sadly, Trek knocks itself out of Best Picture running for some dumb Harry Potter-esque moments like Scotty in the water pipes. There's a few minutes that could have been left on the cutting room floor.

Best Writing- Sherlock Holmes

The last big release of the year was also one of its best. The script had some stiff competition from District 9 and Inglorious Basterds. The Basterds have some of the best dialog driven sequences I've seen committed to film; laughter, extreme tension, mayhem, Basterds was able to accomplish what seemed like an action-packed and suspense-filled movie almost entirely through the power of conversation.

District 9, on the other hand, was a completely new story, full of new ideas, and it managed to thrill and fascinate audiences everywhere, despite the heaviest of studio hot-shots betting against it.

Yet, Holmes was probably the sharpest of wit and verve in its writing. It was able to avoid the sci-fi plot holes that District 9 couldn't help but fall into, and it was just more genuinely exciting than Basterds in its kinetic fury. I tend to not like Hollywood's obsession with franchises these days, but Holmes is one I'll gladly see a sequel for.

Best Horror- Paranormal Activity

A tough call on this one. Oh, quick mention, Horror gets its own genre category as you will very seldom see a horror film make it to Best Picture. There will be plenty of Sci-fi nominees for best picture, but horror always seems to be so schlocky. Its like Hollywood refuses to believe that Horror can be good. And if it is, like The Road, then they dub it a Drama. I hate to have them go without any recognition, though. People need Horror, and I personally love it.

Anyway, I really wanted to go with Zombieland here. That was an enjoyable film that will likely have the greater rewatch value, even above Paranormal. But Zombieland just treads over the same grounds that Shaun of the Dead did so long ago, just with the benefit of more bloodshed and a little Bill Murray action. Also, its bound to spawn some crappy sequels. Just wait.

We also got to see Raimi return to horror with Drag Me to Hell, and then there was the erotic Vampire thriller Thirst from Korea, which answers some interesting questions about the corruption of the spirit that seems to accompany vampirism in so many stories... but ultimately only Paranormal Activity did what horror is supposed to set out to do: it scared people. Grant you, some people deride it for being so simple, but I think that's the brilliance of it. If you ever watch haunting videos, that's all they appear to be: noises, bumps in the night, things moving at odd moments, and its those things that scare the crap out of you. The feel of the movie, for so many, was just enough to set them on edge, maybe not in the theater, but for sure in the still hours of the night afterwards.

Plus, my name is in the DVD credits, so it gets points for that.

Best Animated- Up

I really wanted to pull for Coraline on this one. Coraline certainly has superior animation, and was much more meticulous and time-consuming of an effort. I love the artistry of a hand-constructed animation, in this case stop-motion, as opposed to the computer animation.

But in the end, Coraline just wasn't all that entertaining. It had some great gags surrounded by a ton of dull, and despite its amazing look, it failed to have enough whimsy for adults, and it scared the piss out of children. Coraline's audience is precious few who adore animation of old and gothic set design.

Up, is far from Pixar's best. Its far behind Incredible s and Wall-E. But, its still heads above so many other animated features. If nothing else, the opening five minutes or so are a tear-jerker to the extreme. While the later movie is a bit weak, the opening act is a good film on its own. Just goes to show, even 'not their best' for Pixar is still better than most.

Best Comedy- A Serious Man

Also winner: Best Trailer. Yowza. 2009 was a pretty weak year for films in a lot of categories, but Comedy seemed to struggle the most. The Hangover was the one real bright spot for many, and it was an amazing shock-value comedy. Looking forward to seeing what Director Todd Philips puts out in the future. Not looking forward to The Hangover 2. Christ, Hollywood, just leave well enough alone.

But, A Serious Man is the one I can't get out of my head. And of course, it was criminally underplayed. The Cohens won 2 Oscars for Best Direction and Best Picture not 2 years ago, and this thing gets maybe 300 screens. It IS dry humor though, and bizarre humor, and it takes a certain type of perspective to really appreciate it. But its a movie that is funny, and thought provoking, and uses the nature of film to turn the story back upon itself. The Cohens again prove themselves to be among the finest masters of the craft, and here is a VERY Jewish comedy that both inspires belly-laughs and deep introspection simultaneously. Brilliant.

Best Actress/ Best Supporting Actress- Gabourey Sibide/ Mo'Nique- Precious

Two at once! Might as well talk about these together, since there's really no way to analyze just one performance on its own; these two are far too intertwined.

Also, the trailer does not do this movie justice. It looks like another Dangerous Minds knock-off from the trailer, but this is a painful, painful goddamn movie. There's no easy, Hollywood ending, but there are a lot of decent laughs, a lot of real emotion, and a lot of... not hope, but inspiration in the film. Inspiration to keep fighting like the girls in this movie do.

But none of it would have worked, were it not for Sibide and Mo'Nique. At my showing, the credits rolled, and there was not a dry eye in the house. Even my cold-hearted ass was fighting back tears. Its takes a moment or two to get completely rolling, but just before little Abdhul is born, the girls bring it together. It starts with a really subtle character-building moment, where Mo'Nique forces Precious to cook her dinner, fried pigs feet, fried chicken, pork and beans, basically cholesterol on plate... and then she refuses to eat it. Instead, she forces Precious to eat it, watching as she swallows every bite. Its never said, but you read it from the expression of satisfaction on Mo'Nique's face, Mom is forcing Precious to eat, to fatten her up, so she has just one more weapon against her daughter; hoping that no one will find her attractive. From here, it only builds to the explosive fight over the baby in their apartment, and finally the dramatic confrontation in the SRS offices... all of it breathtaking, all of it only possible with this particular pairing.

Other noteworthy's include Melanie Laurent from Inglorious Basterds for a great scene about eating apple tart with the Nazis and Carey Mulligan in An Education and I really wanted to give something to Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air... but ultimately their roles were just comparatively boring. I always have trouble with the Best Actress categories, because I don't think women carry their movies as well. Now, I grant you, it could be the writing not punching it up enough for the ladies, but there's something to be explored here. What women draw other women to theaters? Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts... but they generally play in fluff movies. Even Blindside, Sandra's big one this year, is still a pretty fluffy, schlocky movie, despite its crowd-pleasing ability, its totally by-the-numbers. Its pretty seldom that a woman captivates in the way so many strong male roles have... in fact most women AND men follow actors more than actresses. But there are Cate Blanchetts Audrey Tautous in the world... and with young ladies like Sibide being discovered, maybe we'll continue to see that change over time.

Best Supporting Actor- Christoph Waltz- Inglorious Basterds

There is no other nominee in this category, its Christoph or nothing.

The Character of Hans Landa, the Jew Hunter, dominates the screen with every moment he's on it. At once, Waltz manages to be funny, charismatic, and intensely menacing. He bridges the spectrum from brilliant conversationalist to monstrous killer and back again through the film, and does so IN FOUR FLUENT LANGUAGES. French, English, German, Italian, whatever, this guy can act in all of them.

Christoph Waltz seems to have an infinite range and, I don't care if Brad Pitt's name was on the top of that poster, Waltz was the star of this movie.

Best Actor- Sam Rockwell- Moon

Tough tough tough category this year. Not only were there a lot of good performances that were in about equal standing this year, they were all also outshined by supporting actor Christoph Waltz. :P

Clooney was great in Up in the Air, but ultimately was just playing the same character he always plays... grant you, thats one very believable and lovable character (like Jimmy Stuart, one character, but you never get tired of him). Michael Stulbarg was great in A Serious Man, and sadly, we'll probably never see him again unless we happen to need another wormy Jewish guy for a dramatic lead... I guess Woody Allen made it work. Viggo Mortensen is the driving force in The Road, as is the immaculate Downey Jr in Sherlock Holmes... but I had to go with Rockwell, anyway.

Here we see Sam Rockwell playing his character twice. What he does that's interesting is that while each iteration of the character are supposed to be the same man at the same time, he's able to play them in completely different ways, as different aspects of the character's personality react to the same crisis. Both versions are totally believable, and logical, and distinct for the audience. Also important is how much the film depends on Rockwell, other than Kevin Spacey's voice through a speaker from time to time, Rockwell is almost the only actor in the film. Everything in Moon depends on him remaining sympathetic and fun to the audience for this 90-minute one-man show. While Moon didn't blow my sci-fi loving mind in the way I had hoped, I can't deny how great the performance was; its been fantastic watching Rockwell get better and better over the years, hell, we first saw him in the original Ninja Turtles movie, and then he popped up in The Green Mile. Pretty amazing.

Oh, I've heard Colin Firth in A Single Man is Friggin' Incredible, and might top all of these guys.. but ya know what? Its on 46 screens, all in CA and NY. WTF, Hollywood?

Best Director- James Cameron- Avatar

Not the best movie of the year, but certainly, the biggest.

I can do nothing but applaud Cameron for taking on a picture of this magnitude, and pulling it off well. Huge FX, great 3-D work, and years upon years of work... and in the end, it really pleases audiences everywhere. Worldwide, this film has already surpassed the tremendous box office of last year's Dark Knight, and to nothing but stellar reviews. Its spectacle, its appeal, and its still a pretty good picture under all the gloss. Maybe not the best, but the most ambitious by far. Applause to you, Cameron. I hope Avatar knocks your old biggest, Titanic, off the top box office spot. Avatar is a bit more worthy... if not entirely deserving.

BEST PICTURE, DRAMA or EXCEPTIONAL GENRE- INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Not at all what I expected... nor what all the old people at my screening were expecting. They went in looking for Saving Private Ryan, and got Nazis being beat to death with baseball bats, British spies playing drinking games, and some crazy alternative history.

In a way, I kind of hate that this was the best picture of the year. Its certainly not even Quentin Tarantino's best, that being the combined masterpiece Kill Bill. Usually, I want to pull some film that has some sort of very personal resonance for audiences, or an immediate social impact. Best examples are things like No Country for Old Men for dramatic effect, or There Will Be Blood, for inspiring "I drink your milkshake!" T-shirts... nothing like that this year. Even emotionally effecting films like The Road had some really crappy editing flaws and pacing issues that couldn't be overlooked. Precious had some weird crap like this one white character suddenly entering the film and gaining a speaking role in the last 20 minutes, with their introductory scene being edited out... a total mystery as to their reason for being in the film.

So, standing above the crowd remains Inglourious Basterds. QT, as always, is a superb director. He gets the most from his audience, every scene is meticulously edited, perfectly timed; every scene is able to draw from the viewer its intended emotion. The opening is tense and dramatic, the drinking games are hilarious, and the violence cringe-worthy.

Ultimately, the Basterds stands out as an almost perfectly crafted film, that is at moments moving, and always fun. Its worth multiple viewings, and houses a few performances that are worth applauding, and furthermore quoting. After GIJoe and Transformers 2, it totally salvaged the summer for me.

That's what we've got for 2009! congrats to all the winners! Feel free to leave your thoughts below, thanks for humoring my hubris with your visit.

Next: The first film of 2010, a preview of Youth in Revolt!