50 Movies for 50 States Part 4, Pennsylvania

So, its been a while since I continued this feature. Need to get back to writing my screenplay before another workday pops up and ruins all my time for writing. You know, the important thing.

If only I weren't so addicted to things like rent and food.

Anyway, the Union just wasn't looking strong enough with only 3 states, so here's a fourth. In recap: Kansas- The Wizard of Oz, New Jersey- Toxic Avenger, Deleware- Fight Club.

Okay, so as before, a look at a couple of Runners-Up before announcing the winner.

First off, Groundhog's Day. After a couple of off turns (re: What about Bob?), Bill Murray returns to form with this movie set in snowy, small-town Pennsylvania. The whole town is in arms to see Punxsutawney Pete, the Groudhog that 'predicts' the weather. Murray is there to cover the event for his news station, and feels trapped by his lackluster life. This becomes literal as he becomes trapped in an endless time-loop, reliving the same banal day over and over again until he learns to 'get it right', appreciating all the little folk around him.

In a way, Groundhog's day is a typical 'Scrooge' story, where a miser, only concerned with his own success, learns the value of human life through supernatural interference. What we're treated to, though, is a comedy where Bill Murray at first revels in, and then is horrified by, the repetition of each day, and the way that he abuses his knowledge of its events.

While the supernatural element is one of this movie's great strengths, it actually ended up knocking it out of the running. Its still a portrait, though absurd, of Pennsylvanian life, and the story requires the state for its setting, I just couldn't pick if over these other two stories of pain and triumph in Penn State.

Next Runner-Up, Slap Shot.

Now, I honestly have a real deep knowledge of this film like I do the others, but I had to put it up here based on strength of reputation.

Slap Shot is a Paul Newman film that is kind of reminiscent of the Bad News Bears. You know the story, washed up coach with major league talents inherits team of losers. Together they reveal each other's hidden talents and overcome their weaknesses and go on to defeat a superior, but ultimately soulless champion-level team. Except, this one is a little different. And this one's Hockey, not Baseball.

Two things make Slap Shot stand out from a Mighty Ducks or a Major League. Firstly, its set during the recession of the 70's and uses actual Pennsylvania crises as the basis for its stories. In this case, the team is about to be disbanded because of the closing of many area wood mills, and so the nearby towns are falling apart.

Secondly, this movie isn't so much about a bunch of lovable losers getting their stuff together as it is about the power of lying.

Throughout the entire picture, Paul Newman struggles to find ways to get his team to play, to fight, to work together. He can't find anything in the truth to get them to play, so he finds stories that will. There's a buyer for the team, there are NHL scouts in the audience; couple that with the team's near homicidal play style and they find themselves the match of almost any team in their league. Almost.

Not really in the running, but worth mentioning that all of Romero's original 'Of the Dead' films were in Pennsylvania.

Ultimately, though, had to lean towards the film with not only cultural reflection, but impact. And none from Pennsylvania have more than that Philly wonder himself, Rocky.

Despite its lackluster sequels, if you haven't watched Rocky lately, you need to go back and see it again. When people tend to think back on it now, they think of Rocky as a ridiculously long franchise of films, sucking the merit out of the Sports genre. Really this is unfair, all of the Rocky movies are ok. 2-5 are not bad, but nothing spectacular, with 4 being one of the great guilty pleasures of the 80's, basically an 80 minute music video about the Cold War. Seriously, its 5 minutes of Apollo dying, 5 minutes of Dolph Lundgren and Bridgette Neilsen looking better than they ever would again in their freakish Hollywood lives, and 70 minutes of training montage. The sixth film, Rocky Balboa, is a heartfelt, if overlong, nostalgia piece.

Bastardized by Hollywood, you can't ignore how quality a film the first Rocky is. People forget, too, that this film won 3 Academy Awards, including best picture in 1976, was the highest grossing picture of '76, and was written by Sylvester Stallone himself.

Stallone plays his greatest role here. Rambo was a good character (at least for one film) and, of course, who can forget Demolition Man and Judge Dredd... but Rocky was his first and best starring role. And why not? He was a low class slob from Philly with high aspirations. He was in a porn. And so, this role of mook, of small mob enforcer, a man trapped in ignorance and poverty, with dreams of being a prize fighter.

What makes Rocky work is its feeling of authenticity and empathy. Stallone put a lot of himself, a lot of the common man, into his character. Due to its tiny budget, a lot of family members and other small film producers gathered together to help create the film. A lot of effort, and a lot of love went into its creation, and it shows. There's also a well-crafted, inspiring love story that helps bolster the climactic battle at the end.

Beyond that, Rocky has a lot of civic pride for the city of Philadelphia. Now, that might seem odd, since the movie does focus on crime, poverty, mob bosses, and abuse within the city. But at no point does it try to denigrate the city. Rather, it shows that despite the hardship of the city, and the horrible way urban life can treat people, you can still find love and happiness, and achieve your goals.

For a long time, Rocky inspired Philly to greatness, unified them, and turned the eye of the country onto the city through its iconic images of the titular character jogging across its landmarks. It may be a little dodgy now... again... but there was a time when a movie could work wonders, even on so large a community.

50 Movies for 50 States Part 3, I Am Jack's Swollen Prostate

First off, a little side-note. I like Google Maps, and I use it to search out all kinds of things, especially in Las Vegas. The grid-like form of Vegas streets, while easy to navigate, means every street is packed full of little businesses. Between that and the tourista nature of the city, each block is packed with little franchise shops easily recognized by travelers and immigrants, and so it makes finding cool indy businesses a difficult task.

So, I search on Google Maps for little shops off the beaten path. Everytime a new biz opens, its certainly added to the map. Today, my quest was to find a local movie rentals so I could get a copy of Trick R Treat to review. Blockbuster is too expensive... and I have late fees there... so I quested to find a little shop run by some college drop-out with a movie fetish that might be able to feed my hunger for lesser known, high quality cinema.

After browsing around, I find only one that exists on my side of the strip, and I go. After about an hour of cruising around, I discover the fault of Google maps: they put up every business as it opens, but dont' remove any of them when they close down. The once frequented Pacific Video has been replaced with an Indian Supermarket, run by a family that was probably confused by the cursing white man who kept circling their building. Interesting point, though, they also have a tattoo shop in the back of their grocery.

Damn you, Blockbuster, damn you to Hell.

Anyway, next on the list.

3. Delaware- Fightclub

I think Delaware might have set this up. It seems to be an obvious trap that one of the coolest (and as a result, over-quoted by people who probably really don't get the context or agenda of the work) movies ever takes place in Delaware... and is pretty much the ONLY movie that takes place in Delaware. If you go to Wikipedia and look at their list of movies from Delaware, all they have is the recent Triggerman.

In fact, before my research pointed me to Fight Club, my initial choice for the state was Waynes World for this telling sequence:

So, why Delaware? The state is never explicitly mentioned in Fight Club, though street names that are mentioned point to Wilmington.

Fight Club is more than just a ode to brutality and anti-consumerism. Fight Club is about one man's schrizophrenic attempt to find man's true nature, believing it to be anarchy, the state of nature. Tyler Durden's snide attitude may seem funny and quirky, but the overall message he, and Chaos, Inc. seem to be spreading is that man is becoming weak. We're sick. Capitolism is a disease that threatens to wipe out mankind, and the primary symptom is debt. Brainwashed into buying, into needing, the many and fit are sickened, tricked into pouring the fruits of their labors into the pits belonging to a few weak-yet-dominant individuals. of course, in Fight Club, the cornerstone of this fallicy lies squarely on the shoulders of Credit Agencies.

And that's why Delaware is so important. It seems almost symbolic that the first state of the American Union is the cornerstone for all of the credit card and consumer credit agencies, the five or six entities that control the lives of over 200 million individuals... and more, if you consider how Mastercard and Visa are now must-have items in foreign nations. Control of the world's financial markets lie in Delaware, and Fight Club asserts that the first step to personal freedom is to bring those companies to the ground.

Whether you agree with this message or not, people seem to have found a lot of appealing ideas in this Palahniuk adaptation. There are many themes of personal pride, integrity, and independent thinking that stand out in this vision of a world buried in muck and detritus.

So, Delaware, there you have it. Your defining moment: home to a group of organizations that threaten to enslave mankind through a series of imaginary numbers and arbitrary scores. Throne of the devil. But still, a nicer place to live than Detroit.

50 Movies for 50 States Part 2, The First Super Hero from New Jersey

Last week, Conan O'Brien made a joke about New Jersey. Nothing new, he's always cracking about New Jersey. This time, he stated that the Mayor of Neward was introducing a new state health-care bill (true). Conan's version of said theory? Buy everyone a bus ticket out of New Jersey. Well, that seemed to be the final straw, and now Conan is banned from the state.


I guess I'm looking to have my turn as well.

Before announcing my winner for New Jersey's movie mascot, lets look at the two runners up. The list of films set in New Jersey was surprisingly long, but not particularly remarkable. An obvious candidate from the list would be Garden State. This film was Written, Directed by, and Starring Zach Braff of Scrubs who, for a first timer all around, pulls of a remarkably impressive film. I grant you, none of the direction is particularly challenging, but it is all around competent. Also, it features a remarkable soundtrack. If you ever watched the Star Wars prequels and thought Natalie Portman couldn't act, just watch Garden State and be proven wrong. She's remarkable here, served up believable with a side of cute and fun. **


Garden State is a wonderful little romantic comedy about generation Y and how we don't know where we're going, probably because of all the meds we're on. Despite those troubles, there is love and there is hope.

But it didn't ring my bell as the most representative of New Jersey, though its probably the BEST set in New Jersey as it doesn't really utilize the state very well. In fact, it has a few fantasy elements, such as the crevasse that goes to eternity, that seem to take it out of the otherwise grounded setting.

Second on the list was Clerks, and the whole Kevin Smith universe of films. While mostly a fine group of raunchy comedies, and surely something New Jersey is proud of, I'd totally forgotten about this movie being set there. The convenience store Dante works at could be set anywhere. Other than a few throwaway references to local hockey teams, the universal appeal of Clerks makes it a bad choice to represent any one location.

So, there was only one real choice for what film represented New Jersey. The REAL New Jersey.

2. New Jersey- The Toxic Avenger

Oh I know, a few of you are rolling your eyes at just how 'Dustin' a choice this is. Fuck you.

Right off the bat, this movie addresses its inspiration. Toxic Waste. New Jersey has 108 Toxic Waste dumps, and is the dumping capitol of the US. This film, started back in '83, addresses peoples' fears about Nuclear Waste (still a pretty new concept, at the time), and the corruption of politicians who had sold the land.

There's also a kid getting run over by a car. And a lot of bad boob jokes.

Yeah, you can't really take it seriously. Troma makes B movies, they always have and proudly always will. This schtick has made them the last truly independent film producer in the country, without any funds or distribution help coming from one of the big 5. They use a lot of actors and extras from the New Jersey area, film in the area , set their films in the area, and generally show a lot of love for Jersey, even as they lampoon it.

But when they take shots at the state, they dont' hold back any punches. A couple of fun facts: New Jersey has the highest population density of any state, New Jersey has an incredible crime rate, with the number of cars stolen in Newark being more than in New York and LA combined, New Jersey is the largest industrial and chemical producing state in the nation (likely the world). Yes, its true, Jersey IS New York's armpit. And it cries stinky tears.

So, while on the surface, Toxic Avenger may be an incredibly violent, slapstick exploit about a nerd who falls into toxic waste and mashes the heads of every bad person he meets, set to a load of dick and fart jokes... and it is that... but at the same time its the reflection of the fears and pride of the people of New Jersey. The state is nothing but a web of cities and highways, people staring longlinly at the glimmer of the New York skyline. The cities are crowded and dirty, crime is rampant, and the pollution from all the industry that is shoved into Jersey from the rest of the nation takes its toll. At the same time, there is a sense of community and civic pride, the idea that individuals banding together can solve problems and defeat evil... and if not, you can always just hope a radioactive monster rips out their stomachs.

...Lloyd Kaufman, director, has never been one for subtlty.

So, New Jersey residents, this may not be the most beautiful depiction of the state, but it seems to be the one that takes place in your home and calls it as it is. Dirty as it is, there's always a glimmer of hope. And you know what? Its because of a film like this that I can say for a fact I'd rather live in Jersey than in Detroit. If nothing else, Toxic Avenger will likely have a cult following as long as Clerks will (already proven over 25 years!), and far, far beyond the time when Garden State is forgotten. Toxic Avenger truly is Troma, and Jersey's, finest moment.







**edit: you can tell it was 5 am when I wrote this by the number of times 'remarkable' appears in this paragraph. 'Remarkable' is to me what 'Decadent' is to Lovecraft. And if you get that reference, you're a remarkable, decadent person.

50 Movies for 50 States Part 1, We're Not in Kansas Anymore

I had the idea for this well over a year ago, and I see Rotten Tomatoes has beaten me to it. Well with them, I'll just have to make my list better.

My goal is to pick one movie for each state in the US. These can't just be any ol' movie, either. I want to pick 50 movies upon which their placement in that state is a definitive factor, both for the movie and for the state itself. You might be surprised, when reading it, just how much impact a film can have upon the culture of an area, and how eager we are, as individuals and groups, to be identified with celebrity by our peers and fellow nationals.

Despite the lame Toto jokes that come about everytime I left my home state of Kansas, there was always some bit of pride, or at least interest, that everyone everywhere new a few lines from the Wizard of Oz, and its pertinence to my residence.

Anyway, it was my viewing of the Wizard of Oz approaching 2 years ago now that inspired me to begin creating this list. I figure the release of the 70th Anniversary Blu Ray was a good a time as any to start the list officially. So here it goes:

1. KANSAS- The Wizard of Oz

Well, sitting and watching the movie now, I can't help but marvel at how wonderfully silly the whole thing is. Glenda the good witch floats down in a big pink bubble, her plastic crowd covered with gaudy glittery baubles and springy-things, and singing in her chirpy voice, a cavalcade of midgets in flower-festooned Swedish clothes and clown make-up come out to begin a six-minute barrage of song and dance.

Dreadfully, dreadfully silly. I can see why the studio sweated when this was released. Even for a kid's movie, the Wizard of Oz is full of amazingly bizarre, childlike images and an unparalleled naivety. Somehow shinging through that is a lot of heart and a lot of fun that has made Oz one of the most successful family movies of all time (perhaps THE most successful, in syndication).

I have no doubt that the puzzle piece that most led audiences to allow the story to have weight, and allowed them to accept all the bizarre midget fun in good stride and spirit was the opening song, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Two different institutions, The American Recording Industry and the American Endowment for the Arts, have voted it the greatest song of the 20th Century, and the American Film Institute has proclaimed it the greatest song that has ever been in a movie. Most would agree; for decades after, Judy Garland could not finish a performance without the audience demanding to hear her perform it live. It is a beautiful, lilting song, to be sure. Without it, Oz would likely have been dismissed by its audience; but its message resonated then with its small audience, and through the war years that followed with a weary, beleagured American populace awaiting the end of dark days. For years, it became a quiet anthem for Americana.

And then, BAM! Midgets dancing in your face for a full six minutes. And flying monkeys. This movie has everything.

I do have to wonder, sometimes, how long this picture will remain an American classic. Will the younger generation be able to appreciate the songs and simple fantasy, the innocence? Will they continue to love the movie for something other than watching it with Dark Side of the Moon, or to watch for suicidal midgets hanging from the set (its a bird, btw)?

I guess time will tell. Even to a stone-hearted bastard like myself, The Wizard of Oz represents childhood and better times. But then, movies and television presentations were different when I was little. Its well known that Wizard didn't do terribly well in its first theatrical run, though it did better in re-release from the strength of the soundtrack. Its real success came from television airings and, later, VHS sales. But once, it was a big event to watch Wizard of Oz. It was played once a year on the network, in a time when VCRs were still pretty scarce. Much like Ten Commandments at Easter, it was something you looked forward to. I recall dropping my Star Wars figures and running into the living room to watch Wizard with my grandma. Screw whatever else you were doing, it was Wizard of Oz night. Does anything on TV now still hold that kind of power?

Well, we can hope that generations to come will recognize the craftsmanship of Oz. The Blu Ray is the pefect showcase to bring out all of the meticulous details that cast and crew worked so hard to create. Big music numbers with hundreds of extras, intricately textured make-up, and 90-foot tall backdrop paintings and sets. The setting may seem ridiculous, but the makers of the movie didn't seem to care. There's a lot of love and hard work put into this film, skill and craft that dwarfs a lot of current films. The interior of the Emerald city is made almost entirely of blown glass. Balls, that's impressive.

If there's any film to be associated with, you could do much worse than Wizard of Oz. And the state's embraced it with pride. There are Oz museums, parades, and merchandise all across the state. In fact, there was supposed to be an Oz amusement park built as well, something to rival Disney, but the ground chosen, near the DeSoto Munitions Plant, was found to be contaminated.

Just as Kansas defined Oz's bleak grey landscape, Oz then brought new color and life to the state, a bright new identity.

...Midgets...