10 Thoughts (and some sub-points) on Star Wars: The Force Awakens

As of this writing, Star Wars: The Force Awakens has been out for a week, and honestly everyone and their mother has written about, blogged about, bitched about, and otherwise reviewed what is undoubtedly the biggest movie of the year. So, this write-up isn't going to change much, as pretty much anyone who comes across this will already be inundated and likely have their opinions formed. I imagine I'll just be lost in the rabble. "Lost. Like tears in the rain." That aside, I feel a need to write at least a few thoughts about the film down, if nothing else but to clear my own brain and keep a sort of personal archive about it for later. If you've stumbled upon this and like it, all the better. With that intro out of the way, SPOILERS ahead and all that. Don't read until you've seen the movie.

Star Wars Episode VII: Is Finn the next Jar Jar Binks?

Before anyone gets all nuts about me comparing Finn to Jar Jar, I do in fact remember that when Jar Jar came out, everyone thought he was supposed to be Jamaican because of his crazy accent, thought he was a crude black stereotype, and compared him to Step 'n' Fetchit, Amos and Andy, and others. This isn't about that. I'm not calling Finn a token black guy or a walking stereotype or anything. I haven't seen the movie, I can't make those claims. No, I'm here talking about merchandising. Star Wars and merchandising, after all, go hand in hand. 

I Haven't Posted on Here in Almost Three Years

And man, did I see a lot of forgettable movies in 2011. I suppose that's probably true of every year.

Anyway, I'll try to come back and revisit thing thing again more now. Lots of things going on.

Awesome 80's Prom at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas

When you've been in Vegas a while, either as a resident or a frequent guest, you begin to get the itch for a new show. Is it so much to ask for something fresh? Something different? Sure, there are plenty of nights where it seems like it might be nice to sneak off to watch the flippedy, floopedy exploits of French acrobats, but sure as hell not every night, and it seems like that's all Vegas has to offer these days.

3-in-One: Mission Impossible, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and I Hate You Dad

In the time since my last entry (I've since completed 3 video projects, which I'll need to post here), I've taken in a number of movie previews. Two of them open this weekend, so I figured I'd post a word about them. The third is a far-off project which I saw an early cut of, so here's an early look at that, too. 

Anonymous (2011)

Conspiracy theorists, rejoice! A major motion picture seeks to popularize the idea that Shakespeare's plays were not, in fact, written by William Shakespeare, but by Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford.

Its a really complicated story, a weaving together of lives of the Elizabethan courts. Every time I watch something about the Tudors, I'm fascinated and have to go do some research afterwards. The complex social lives these guys had, its unbelievable. I can't imagine that the members of the Tudor courts didn't have a headache every moment of everyday, just from the struggle of having to deal with all the deceits, intrigues, and propriety that were ascribed to them.

The Thing (2011)

My review for the new prequel for John Carpenter's The Thing is up on Brutal as Hell. Mosey on over and take a look!

The Big Year (2011)

Director: 

David Frankel

Writers: 

Howard Franklin (screenplay), Mark Obmascik(book)

Stars:

 Owen Wilson, Jack Black and Steve Martin

In a word: quaint. 

Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Owen Wilson all play extremely devoted bird-watchers. The trailer, btw, does a remarkable job of obscuring how much of this movie is about bird-watching and makes it look like a screwball comedy. Its not. 

Black and Martin are our protagonists, both driven to complete 'The Big Year', a scavenger hunt to see as many birds as possible across North America in one year. The current champion is Owen Wilson, who goes out among the birders, to make sure no one beats his record of over 730 species sighted. 

While the film IS about birding, and does devote a remarkable amount of its run-time to the appreciation of birds and the hobby of watching them, it ultimately is about obsession, devotion, and the personal prices people pay in the quest for their passions. All 3 men want the title of 'best birder', and spend most of the movie trekking across the wilds of North America, but they all risk things at home. Black has already lost a marriage, and risks his job and his relationship with his ailing father. Martin is on the verge of retirement, and his business may collapse in his absence. Wilson's wife wants a baby, and his single-minded devotion to birding pushes his marriage to the edge. 

I don't like pushing the film into this particular demographic... but I will. The Big Year is for old people. 

I was in the screening theater with primarily older folks, 30's, 40's, and older. Free screening, and yet only older folks were interested. Steve Martin + bird-watching is just going to skew that way, I guess. While we were watching, I noticed that I wasn't really laughing at the jokes. Everything had a quaint, naive charm to it, but the comedy was about the level of your average sitcom. Very bland, very predictable, broad stroke characters. You know. But, the milquetoast comedy seemed to be winning over the crowd. 

There was a particular moment where Steve Martin and Jack Black have rented a helicopter, and the pilot is helping them chase a rare bird. They swoop over the rocks and see it, taking in the majesty. Next thing you know, they are a little too close to the rocks, and they all yelp as the pilot pulls them away from the mountain face... and the lady next to me recoiled in fright and yelled along with Steve Martin. Yep, there's the crowd this movie was made for: the old lady who is excited by really dry action moments, and thinks there might actually be a chance that Steve Martin and Jack Black could both die in a helicopter crash half way through this PG-13 buddy comedy. 

Don't get me wrong, its not a bad film. I thought all three characters, if a bit chilche, were workable and likable, and had well defined character arcs. The moral of the story, that you need to settle down and have kids like everyone else or else all your achievements aren't worth anything, is far from new (damn you Hollywood, for cramming this down our throats!) but well-worn by these characters, and comes across neatly, clearly. Owen Wilson actually does a great job of conveying this message in his final scenes; he really comes across as the strongest actor in the film. ... but while its not a bad film, its not a particularly funny or exciting one either, unless you're very easily pleased. 

The Big Year kind of reminds me of Wild Hogs or Old Dogs, in that its a comedy filled with aging stars that's been developed in a sterile laboratory to specifically please your mom's sense of humor. However, I will give Big Year big props for not falling for the same tropes of those two films; no one in the film is playing the idiot, and it doesn't rely on stupid, ridiculous situational humor to beg for laughs. What jokes are there come from zingers and observational humor, and Jack Black is restrained at only one prat-fall for the entire film. Dry, naive humor, maybe, but at least everyone involved kept their dignity. 

Drive (2011)

One more from SDCC.

Drive is the newest film from Nicolas Winding Refn, director of the awesome  Bronson (about Charles Bronson the British convict, not the actor), and soon to be helming the remake of Logan's Run. It features Ryan Gosling, who seems to be all over the place lately, Carey Mulligan, and Ron Perlman, along with a whole cast full of great actors in secondary parts.

Drive is about a movie stunt driver (Gosling) who, until now, I hadn't noticed is never named in the film. Hmm... well, anyway, he uses his driving skills to pull off heists for criminals. His system is that he is responsible for the safety of the crew for the five minutes immediately following the heist, during the getaway. Anything before or after is solely on them. To that point, he's never been out-driven, his crew always getting from A to B safely.

However, despite the excitement of crime and stunt driving, Driver's life is empty. His apartment is plain, his nights quiet and alone, his day job isolating. This all changes when he meets, literally, the girl next door. Irene (Carey Mulligan) is a young mom who's husband is in jail. Driver helps her out while hubby is in the slammer, and soon the two have developed a deep affection for each other, if not a relationship. When hubby gets out, he tries to reform, but his old gang isn't hearing it. Driver wants nothing more than to keep Irene and her kid safe, and takes on the responsibility of getting hubby out of hot water with his old gang.

Of course, that's when things get complicated...



Sometimes you get treated with a movie that's full of awesome stuff that you somehow haven't heard a damn thing about. Sadly, it means that the studio probably just isn't promoting the thing, but hey, bonus for me.

Anyway, went to the theater knowing nothing about this flick, my roommate suggested I go after seeing a clip for it at a panel earlier in the day. In the lobby I was grabbing popcorn, and happened to run across the cast and director who were coming in to introduce the show. Great bunch of people, very friendly. Mulligan and Perlman are both very, very quiet. Its almost off-putting. But, hey, they seem modest and polite, can't complain about that.

Socializing aside, I enjoyed watching this flick. Drive opens with an incredibly intense heist sequence that doesn't for a moment feel far-fetched or reaching. The Driver sets his watch and waits patiently while his clients knock off their target. The seconds tick by as client #2 gets held up inside grabbing the cash. As he finally reaches the car, the police scanner alerts them that the cops are in the area, and their car has been tagged as a vehicle of interest. The Driver's got five minutes to outrun, out think, and generally hide from the cops, on the streets and in the air, the tension never letting up. Engines blast through the speakers, as an idiosyncratic Atari-Fire-like score and credits written in 80's-style pink text chop up the style.  By the time the job is done, I couldn't help but find myself rooting for our silent, bad assed protagonist, the perfect opening.

The rest of the film is actually very slow by comparison, a long, tense character drama, it focuses on the relationship between the Driver and Irene, and the development of the Driver's sense of self, his goals, and a bit of heroism to boot. The scenes are all incredibly well directed, with some very unique styles making a story that has familiar beats feel very new. The drama is broken apart, at times, by stunningly violent, visceral action sequences, sure to make some wince.

My one complaint with the otherwise awesome film? A sheer lack of dialog. Now, I'm glad the film isn't exposition heavy, and it does at least avoid many movie cliches by skipping past the dialog, but those interactions between characters are still there, and those moments aren't filled with any sort of action. What results is a movie where most character interactions are simply two people on either side of the screen, staring at each other for painfully long moments.

Used sparingly, this could have been considered brilliant. "Oh, look at how much they convey just by looking at each other." But Drive uses this slow, plodding communication so much that by the end of the film its simply an exercise in self-parody.

"Would you like some water?"
...
...
...
...
...
"Sure."
...
...
...
...
...
..
"So, who's that?"
....
...
...
..
"My husband.......................................................................he's in jail."
...
...
...
...
...
"Oh............................................................I gotta go."
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Sure. Well thanks."
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Yeah...................................................................................thanks for the water. Later."

I'm really not exaggerating. That's a real conversation from the movie, and it takes about five or six minutes to get there, I swear to God.

A few others I pulled into the theater with me found the long, plodding line delivery grating, and spent the rest of the night mimicking it by staring at each other and refusing to answer each others' questions at dinner afterward. Others found the extremity of the violence hard to match up with the subtle-beyond-reason performances of the drama.  So, there may be some complaints.

But, hey, you've been warned. So far, most have been blown away by Drive, at film fests and such, and while I do try to avoid hyperbole, I can say its a quality flick with a lot of interesting bits, and I recommend it to ya.

Griff the Invisible

At SDCC this year, I got the chance to preview Griff the Inivisible, a little indy film, the first from director Leon Ford.

Super, Special, Paper Man, there have been many indy superhero movies of late, trying to examine the psychology of the hero, and likely, ride the wave of hero-movie popularity. The latest among these is Griff the Invisible, which differs from the others on this list in that it lacks most of the melancholy they contain.

Griff is a young man living alone in the city, a city which he prowls through at night, fighting crime. He has a powerful fighting suit, a great martial prowess, a crime lab, and a hotline direct to the mayor... or does he? Griff also has a new job where he is tormented by co-workers, a history of losing jobs to his daydreaming nature, and a bit of a checkered past.

Griff's newest challenge comes not in the form of a super-villain, but from a young woman. Griff's just an ordinary guy trying to fight crime, believing he has super powers, and when he meets a young woman who shares his beliefs, his world takes a startling turn.

The two of them battle against their most hated foe, banality.

This is a pretty good film, one finished last year, and probably only seeing release thanks to the young star, Ryan Kwanten of True Blood fame. He plays a dramatically different character, the sheepish Griff, afraid of everything in life. His neighborhood, his job; and his one relief from the torment is his time in costume, behind his mask, battling against rabble in the neighborhood.

The characters are all weird and delightful, quirky like so many other indy casts. They really pull it off, though, the love story is bizarre and sweet. I don't use the word often, but, this movie is cute.

Definitely check this one out if it comes your way. A good date movie for superhero fans.

Cowboys and Aliens

I got a chance to check out Cowboys and Aliens at the press screening at Las Vegas's Rave theater tonight (and thanks to my buddy Roland for the hook-up on that one. I totally missed out on registering for passes thanks to SDCC).

Happy to report that its pretty good.

The story is easy to surmise from the trailer. Jake (Daniel Craig), wakes up in the desert with amnesia, and a strange metal device strapped to his wrist. After taking out a small band of bounty hunters, Jake steals their gear and wanders back into town, only to find he's a wanted man, and Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), a rich, mean, retired military man, wants the gold he had stashed on the train that Jake robbed. The two powerful men are the center of a conflict in town, fists flying and guns drawn, when...

Aliens attack.

In a turnabout that makes me wish I'd never seen the trailer and didn't know the name of the movie, aliens come from nowhere and abduct about half the town, taking them off to some secret base for experimentation. During the scuffle, the mysterious bracelet Jake has on his arm activates, and he's able to shoot down one of the alien spacecraft. The humans have a fighting chance, at least.

Luckily, the bracelet seems to not only shoot big lasers, but also produce plot contrivances, as the aliens only take the weakest members of the town. All the remaining gun-toting badasses form a posse and hunt down the space-faring varmints. Jake tags along, hoping to recover his lost memory.

So, yeah, the movie was a lot of fun. There wasn't a lot of originality to be had, other than the really unusual genre mash-up. The story is more Western than Sci-fi, with all of the protagonists coming from a Western world. And within that world, we cover just about every Western trope you could imagine. Because of that, the story is rather predictable. "Hey, Harrison Ford hates Indians. What do you bet we'll see him working together with those Indians to save the day later?", Indian ambushes, bandits, shoot-outs. All that's really missing is a duel at high noon and you'd pretty much have every event western ever trapped in this film.

While the film is predictable, its also very comfortable, and funny when it remembers to poke some self-aware humor at itself.

So, while nothing 'new' in terms of characters or events, we do have a pretty unique mix of movie elements here, and all of those elements are done very well. You've got all the ingredients of a solid traditional western here, and you've got some basic sci-fi, and Favreau does service to both genres, compiling great action scenes, some witty banter, and a decent score.

What could have been a complete goof-fest, however, is really pulled through by a strong cast. Daniel Craig is great as the perpetually dirty tough-guy, and Harrison Ford is wonderful as ever. Its great to see one of my all-time favorites in a movie that doesn't make me want to stab my eyes out; Harrison, I've missed you. The supporting cast are wonderful as well, a huge upgrade from the throwaway extras of most movies. Sam Rockwell, Clancy Brown, Paul Dano, Abigail Spencer, they all flesh out the town, and make the absolute most of their roles. Favreau really cashed in those Iron Man chips to get a cast full of people who have lead films before as his extras. Plus, that drunk guy who's taking a shit early on in the film is none other than Artie, the strongest man in the world, of Pete & Pete fame. 

So, its not perfect. The story is pretty paint by numbers and has few surprises. In a film like this, though, I really don't need a lot of new character elements or meta-textual writing. I just need cowboys doing cowboy stuff to aliens. Hey, do we see some aliens get lassoed and maybe have Indian spears chucked through their chest? Yeah? Awesome!

Popcorn movie extraordinaire. If you want some lighthearted fun, Cowboys and Aliens is offering it up. And unlike this summer's other big popcorn movie, it doesn't open with over an hour of Shia LaBeouf trying to get a job. A vast improvement.

The Dire Digest Cometh. Looking for Backers.

Heeeeeey kids! PMP Productions is looking for some finishing funds while we put together some of the more FX intensive scenes in our new anthology horror.

If you're interested in donating to the cause, gaining some Producer credit, and helping along an awesome movie, click on over to Kickstarter to pledge!

Have you had a look at your Padinga lately?

Hey. Wow. Its been forever since I've posted in this thing. Like 2 months or so.

Well, let me tell you, I've hardly been resting on my laurels.
...maybe just a bit...

Its convention season, and already I've been tearing it up around here. I finished a short shoot in Portland, a script to shoot with Vegaswood Studios, and PMP Productions about to shoot in August, another part of the Dire Digest. PMP also just received an award for Affection/Affectation from last week's Las Vegas Film Fest. This week I'm at the San Diego Comicon, diving head-first into the creative community.

My writing time was basically split, however, between the script (which you can't yet enjoy the fruits of) and Padinga.com. For Padinga, we went to E3, covered the living shit out of that convention, and also established a weekly writing schedule, so you've got new content every day.

Check HERE for all the E3 goodies collected in one spot. Its a pretty comprehensive guide to all the good stuff coming out this upcoming year.

On the front page, you'll find new articles every day, so keep coming back!

A few words on THE MIGHTY THOR!!! *thunder clap*

So, I saw this the other night. Yep, its good. I think most people were anticipating it to be a pretty solid film, trailers and hype have been positive and building, but not stupidly overwhelming, probably because Marvel is splitting their ad campaign 2 (X-Men makes 3?) ways this summer. And anyway, the critics have been enjoying it at early screenings as well.

But, if you wanted a bit of my opinion, I'll give it to ya, in brief.

Thor: 4 out of 5 Mjolnirs ... its not as good as Iron Man, but probably better than Spider-Man 3.

What worked:

- Casting. Marvel has done a great job finding talent thus far. Chris Hemsworth is fine as the brash young Thor, Natalie Portman is charming as always, and its great to see Ray Stevenson come in as Volstagg, rescued from the shit storm that was Punisher War Zone. I also really enjoyed Kat Dennings as the snarky Darcey.

- Production Design: Asgard looked wonderful, costumes generally were great (in particular, I liked Heimdahl a lot. He's a badass), and Destroyer, especially was bad ass. I would have liked to have seen him get to a more populated area to blow some stuff up.

- Action: The movie follows the typical Marvel movie formula, with one major action sequence per act. Act 1: Raid on Frost Giants. Act 2: Raid on Shield compound. Act 3: Thor vs Destroyer and Loki. Nothing very surprising here, and i honestly could have used a little more... but what was there was pretty well done. The Act 1 raid was especially nice, as it gave Sif and the Warriors 3 some time to shine on screen.

- Bumper: I don't think as many people will be blown away by the bumper on this one, because the image isn't as iconic as Thor's Hammer being found, or Cap in the ice or anything like that. But, if you're a comics fan, you know what it is already, and its pretty cool to see realized on the screen. Also, its the most plot-driven of the bumpers so far, directly tying in Cap and Thor to Avengers.

What wasn't so good:

-Loki: He was played well, but... not really written well. The God of Mischief was less of the evil trickster his comics self is portrayed as, and more of a sympathetic, kind of downtrodden kid in his brother's shadow. To some extent, this works, because we tend to like having villains we can reason with, like Magneto, it makes for a deeper character. But in the end, it made him anything BUT menacing.
Without revealing what Loki's master plan is here, I'll tell you what it boils down to: It involves him keeping Thor on Earth so that he can 1. Not kill anybody else in Asgard. 2. Not take the throne (he kind of tries to, though he says explicitly he doesn't want it. Seems like he plans on giving it back to Odin) 3. Not endanger anyone on Earth deliberately, and 4. Kill the badguys.
... so, wait, Loki's master plan is to set up all this crap he does in the movie so that he can kill a bunch of evil guys and then everyone will like him as much as Thor?
And how does this endanger Natalie Portman, in a way that might make Thor angry and engage the audience emotionally?... oh, it doesn't.

When Loki was busy blowing up the Giants, and Thor came in to stop him, my thoughts were "Why? You hate these guys and the live for murder. Just let 'em die off."

-Thor is a Jedi: The trick with high fantasy, especially when it focuses in on characters of near-godlike ability, or ones who are inhuman, is that we have a harder time sympathizing with them. We see this in Star Wars; in the original films, its very easy to get behind Luke and Han, because they are simple, human characters with the same kind of ambitions and flaws that we have. But in the prequels, Qui-Gonn, Obi, and Anakin are cold, distant figures with virtually no weaknesses, and unknowable motivation. Its hard to sympathize with them, as they apparently don't think, act, or feel in ways that are human.

Thor, here, as something of the same complex. He's fun to watch, all smarmy and, um, Viking-y. But he's aloof, distant, and has an air of superiority over all of the human characters in the film. Fun as he is, its hard to really get into his character, and we don't really feel for his grief when he's trapped on Earth.
If anything, Natalie Portman is our human center, and the heart of the show. She's really never in any danger, though, so it keeps the adrenaline toned down.

Overall, though, Thor is a very fun popcorn flick, and a good lead into Cap, and in turn, next year's Avengers movie. I'm sure many of you will check it out this weekend. Enjoy!

Brains? I'll just stick to the Cadbury Cream Eggs, thanks...

Easter is almost over, but if you're not quite ready to say goodbye to the Holy Ghost and all of his buddies, then you need to pop on over to Brutal as Hell, where we're got a series of posts celebrating Zombie Jesus Day! Wind down with a collection of reviews, looking a the finest of zombie films, and maybe even a couple of flicks featuring Jesus Christ himself! The Passion?, you ask. NO! We're talking Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, reviewed by yours truly.

Plus, original Easter art!

Click the pic to go to Brutal as Hell, and celebrate the resurrection of your lord and savior in style. If you can do it while eating the flesh of your choosing... bonus!

Gasoline Wars!!

Yesterday, a number of news outlets were reporting the national average price of gasoline hitting $4/gallon. People are starting to complain, but its still just the general grumbles. But how long before the complaints begin to grow? Before it turns to yelling and shouting? Then outrage, revolts, riots?

What's our breaking point? $5/gallon? $6... maybe we go all the way to $10?

I'm just curious because I want to be ready when its time for me to put on my spiked cod piece and hockey mask and raid the neighboring towns for their fuel supplies. I imagine trying to raid the little town of Pahrump too early would be kind of a social faux pas.

"You have made me unleash my dogs of war. There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the Chicken Ranch Brothel (NSFW), and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the...um, Nevada desert. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. "

(those guys in the background are the Team Vegas Heroclix crew)

Ahh, a glimpse of the future. Don't worry, I'm really a very civil warlord. Just don't forget to address me as "The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!", and we'll be alright. 

My Favorite Ladies

 Here's a little fluff piece for ya'll.

I rarely put 'cheesecake' up on the site. I really try to avoid it because, dammit, its everywhere, and its played for cheap ratings boosts from horny nerds. Its too easy to really have any artistic value, IMO. I think we should be able to convey beauty without lingering on cheap tit shots and... well, its a rant unto itself.

Still, I'm sitting here watching Dr Who season 5, and loving the character of Amy Pond, and I thought I should put up a little collection of my favorite, most attractive, actresses. Many of them get overshadowed by the Megan Foxes of the world (blerg), so here is a little moment for them to shine...

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Olivia Wilde

I'd seen her before as the Baroness in a GI Joe parody video (playing the clarinet, no less), and as Madonna in a Weird Al video, but Olivia really stood out this year in Tron: Legacy.
She has a TON of make-up on in that movie, so its kind of hard to tell how much of that is really her. She seems to look a lot more rough outside of the films... but then, who doesn't? From stills, she only looked jaw-dropping, to me, in that one film, as the living computer program, but her character was so goddamn adorable in the movie, that she couldn't be ignored. I'll have my eye out for her in future stuff, for sure. If nothing else, she can really fill out some leather jump-suits. Those are pretty popular, these days...

#5: Scarlett Johansson

Speaking of jump-suits, we just saw Scarlett here wearing one in Iron Man 2 as the SHIELD agent, Black Widow. Scarlett's had an interesting evolution in film, going from punk-ish girl next door in Ghost World, then to bored house wife in Lost in Translation, and quickly she turned over to glamor girl and femme fatale.
She hasn't really had a ton of film roles, but they've all been memorable, and mostly just because of how she looks.
I almost hate to say that, but seriously, she rarely even gets any good lines. She's just mesmerizing on the screen.

#4: Natalie Portman: The Professional and Star Wars Episode 1, I've kind of grown up along with Natalie Portman. She an interesting actress, as she shows a lot of versatility, but she needs a strong director. Star Wars was a good example of her just phoning in the performance, and V for Vendetta, as much as I love that movie, also shows that, sometimes, damn she can be weak. But despite those, you see things like Garden State and most recently Black Swan, and you can't help but see and respect her talent. With the right guidance, Natalie can dominate the screen. And, with her innocent face, the ability to adopt a tough attitude, and comedic timing (see her Lonely Island videos), she's become versatile enough to fit into any movie. She's the go-to girl, kinda like how George Cloony is for leading men.
She did a nude scene once in the short film Hotel Chevalier. She was beautiful, and it was an excellent little short. But, she was embarrassed by the way everyone spread still shots of it around. Thanks for ruining it for us all, guys, she says she'll never do another. Well, enjoy that one you got, people.

#3: Anna Farris: I was sad when she got her plastic surgery done. Anna had some work done on her nose and lips. The lip work is kind of obvious, they're just a little TOO plump for her, and there seems to be a little scar on one of them. Well, she still pretty much has that same girlish charm that got me during Scary Movie.
Her real charm and talent comes from her comedy. Anna's movies don't appeal to all crowds, though she does run the gamut from Lost In Translation to House Bunny, art to fluff; but no matter your taste its impossible to ignore her great comedic timing. And her face, oh God, her face. Its probably the most expressive of any female comic working now. She's got this Lucille Ball kind of range of facial expressions, and I just can't stop laughing at her when she starts mugging for the camera.

#2: Emma Stone: Also in House Bunny, where she played the lead 'extremely nerdy chick', Anna Farris saved the day by slutting her up a bit. Emma works on screen because she's got good girl charm, but kind of an evil grin, and beauty to accompany those assets. Following up on Zombieland, Easy A was her big breakout roll, where she took the lead and solidified herself as an actress who plays smart, level-headed female characters who overcomes obstacles with good intentions and a bit of articulation. Her kind of roles have otherwise been pretty rare in film lately, and its great to see them back. I can't help but think that they must reflect some part of her own personality.
Frankly, its part of her appeal. The ability to mix sex appeal with intelligence, wit, and a strength of moral character, and to STILL be interesting and funny on screen... she's the type of girl you'd take home to Ma. Can't wait to see her play Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spider-Man films.

               

 

#1: Karen Gillan: She's the girl who inspired this little column. Amy Pond, of Dr Who's latest season. I really only know her from that show, though its a good 12 hours of screen time, so you see her in a range of situations and the emotional spectrum. Amy has won over most Who fans in a way no other companion probably has since Sarah Jane, way back in the Tom Baker days.
Its the adorable round face, the striking red hair, the lilting Scottish accent, that lean body, her cheeky remarks, everything she does on screen is a delight. And, Hell, she just looks like she'd be a good kisser, doesn't she? Maybe that's just me...
There's not been a moment of her time on screen, be it embarrassing her parents at a wedding, blasting aliens, time traveling to torment herself as a little girl, or falling in love with Roman soldiers, in moments funny or sad (but mostly funny), that's been anything less than wonderful. The 6th season starts this Saturday night.

So, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for humoring me, folks. Go check out the fine work of these actresses, some of them well known, some not so much. All of them, though, worth watching.

         

Found Art and Scary Babies

I was recently trying to earn a little extra cash doing some political work out here in Vegas. While I was prowling about, door-to-door, I came across a little note on the ground, which some school girl had surely dropped. I'd hoped for a juicy love letter, but I found a work of fiction instead. I thought I'd share this masterpiece, typed verbatim:

Mary     This happend in 2003

One day this girl named mary she was walking home from school she saw this shadow and it looked like a man with spikeie hair she stop and look and saw nothin' she kept walking finaly she was at her house she got her keys out of her packet and opened her house door her mom and her baby brother was there her dad died from sliping in the shower but there was something that had to do with the bady mary is the main one who takes care of her baby brother because her mom is scared of the bady. (editor's note: at last, this story, and likely its writer, just reached its first period!)

Everytime she looks at her bady she sees something evil mary knows how her dad really died they day he died he toke a shower but sometimes the sister puts the bady down so the bady can cawl around so while the dad is takeing a shower the bady go's crawling to the shower and when the bady opens the door he looks at his father with his RED evil eyes and nobody can look the bady in the eyes because if they do, they will die.

Your education system at work, Nevada. Okay, a little unfair. I don't know who wrote this thing, and without that context, I mean, this could have been written by a brilliant effing 1st grader or something. 

Two things that stand out to me: firstly, what's up with the shadow Mary sees at the beginning here? It doesn't seem to be related to the baby at all. Well, maybe the author is just prepping for a career writing ghost stories for Hollywood by making the ghost DO SHIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE to fill in 90 minutes of runtime before finally getting around to revenge or possessing their sister, or whatever. 

My other question is... this girl knows how to pronounce the word 'baby', right? I mean, she knows what a 'b' looks like, because she uses it to begin the word. But, there we are, two whole letters later, and she's swapped it for a 'd'. Bady? A typo is one thing, but she's made that same error about a dozen times in two, um, sentences. So, either she thinks the word is pronounced 'Baedee' or she's working under the impression that consonants in alliterative words have to be mirror images of each other. 

Well, if she doesn't drop out of school and go to work for the Spearmint Rhino this year, maybe I'll find a sequel on the ground one of these days. We need to see how Mary takes care of the evil, demonic bady. 

Affection/Affectation Plays at Bare Bones Film Festival!!

Probably the first of many posts about this. So, for all of those who subscribe to this blog, my Twitter, my Facebook, and all of that... well, you don't get an apology, just grin and bare it. This is PMP Production's first film fest selection and, like an over-eager teen who just lost his virginity, we've got to brag about it where ever we can.

So, more concisely stated: Affection/Affectation, the first full-length feature completed by Lawrence, KS based PMP Productions, and Directed by Aubry Peters, has been made an official selection of the Bare Bones Film Festival. As if that weren't cool enough, the film has also been nominated for Best Comedy of the year, and Aubry has been nominated for Film Auteur of the Year. Really, its an honor just to get a selection (we can put those little laurels on subsequent package printings! And not ironically or mockingly!), but to get the nominations on top is just... well, its goddamn amazing is what it is.

The one down-side is that the film's screening area is away from the main festival, and in a little side shop, John Michael's. So, if you're in the Oklahoma area, or attending the con, please find your way over to the screening. If you know people who might be going to the festival, or live in Oklahoma, tell them to check out the film. We're small, of course, and can use all the support we can gather.

Link to Festival Info

Link to Venue Info

Link to Film Trailer

Also, the film is already available on DVD. I know Aubry just got fresh copies in from the printers, and they should be ready to ship! Get a copy for yourself here. A bargain really. Amazon will carry this eventually, but they will be doubling the price, so buy direct.

Not ones to rest on our laurels, PMP has also had one of its shorts, You Dun It, directed by yours truly, requested by the Dead by Dawn film fest in Scotland. If we get selected to screen, be aware, I'm calling for donations so I can fly over there and crash in a hostel to be able to show the damn thing.

And, as mentioned last time, production has officially begun on The Dire Digest, our second full length feature. Without going into too much detail, its a horror piece, and each of the PMP founders will be shooting and directing their own segment of the film. Portland's own Josh Winegarner has just finished shooting his section, with myself as the (nearly dead) lead actor. Only five more to go! More on that as it develops.

In the meantime, thanks very much to everyone who has supported the works so far, and also to those who will be supporting in the near future. Our little group has stories to tell, and its all of the encouragement given by friends and family that allow us to pursue our dreams, and cast our voices out into the world.

Update!!

Been a while since I've done much with the writing, aside from the lengthy Heroclix reviews. Its been a pretty sparse March for witty words and turns of phrase. I've been working on some new projects with a few film fellows from the area and beyond. A quick update:

- PMP Productions has entered into production on its 2nd full length feature! The first section of this anthology film is now filmed, and ready for editing! More soon...

- Glenbrook Studios is beginning pre-production on their new super-secret big project which will launch the studio officially into the large, full-feature domain. I can't give any details, but if you're interested in getting onto the ground floor of this exciting new venture, Google them, and see if you can lend talent or even further funding.

- VegasWood studios is in the script phase of a new, character driven feature film. I've got the outline in, and the full script will be drafted soon.

- Padinga is skyrocketing in popularity, content, and quality. Check out Padinga.com right away!

So, I'm pretty busy, but more content will be on the way very, very quickly. Keep them eyes peeled!