Alright. Had an afternoon off, already got a movie review in for the day, time for a little personal writing. I think its time we revisited the sunny city of Indianapolis. Join me, will you? (smoking jacket, slippers)
Pretty much done writing about Gencon. At least on this venue.
Heroclix was the majority of my time spent there, anyway. Day 1 of the Heroclix world championships was glorious. Poor booster pull, but the competition was fierce, and I was on top of my game. 4-1, with one loss in the final round.
Day 2 , the dice lost all of their power. Dropped at 1-2. Still fun was had, though I didn't do as well as I'd liked. Really wanted to at least hit top 16, just to know I could. Had a great team lined up for that as well. Whatchagonnado?
But really, just felt like chronicling the adventures my uncle and I had in the city itself, and, specifically, the haunted tour we took.
Indianapolis itself is a pretty nice city. Its got a good mix of new construction, and antique architecture. The city has a clean appearance, but also an anachronistic visual, a conglomeration of times and styles. My favorite point in the city has to the be the war veteran's memorial, a giant obelisk reaching to the sky, a wonderful piece of architecture, a touch of European class in the middle of down-town America.
There's a few other oddities about the town. Things like the lack of separation between the industrial, the commercial, and the residential. There's a huge steel plant in the middle of town, marring the skyline by the stadium and the convention center. Old, dead railways cross from the city center into the little residential communities between downtown and the airport, which still have their small-town, midwestern feel. Well, except for the tremendous Hispanic community.
Also noticeable is the huge homeless population. At least around the convention center, the homeless dot all the sidewalks, two or three to each side of each block, all with signs asking for change... mostly stenciled. The city keeps a clean appearance but the poor population has to be pretty big all around.
Day 2 we went to a little bar, Average Joe's Pub. Sadly it was more like Subpar Joe's. But there were locals, and we asked them, "What's to do in this town?" "Oh, nothin' really. Come here, mostly." "Yeah?" "Yeah. You go outside, you're likely to get shot." "..."
Well, in our quest to find entertainment without getting shot, we found a couple restaurants. Hit up the Hard Rock Cafe, which has a good burger, and some delicious cheesecake, but a bland and tasteless bbq. Kazablanca turned out to also have a great deluxe pizza, India Palace isn't quite as good as the one in Lawrence and is a lot milder but still good, and then there was the Slippery Noodle...
On night 3, we were feelin' a little antsy for adventure. We'd been out to an asylum in the middle of the city. Its supposed to be haunted. It was pretty interesting, took the grounds tour, but the city is supposed to be selling it so they really don't talk about the haunting, for fear that it would deter the buyers (also, according to the groundskeeper in an off-the-record meeting *oops* the real sale deterrent will probably be the fact that the asylum was never really destroyed, just pushed down into the grounds, making the enormous land purchase unstable and unfit for building). So, we lit up when we found that a group at Gencon offers tours of haunted landmarks.
Um... yeah. What crap.
Now, when you're on a haunted tour of the city, you hope to see some ghosts. Sure, its a longshot, but you think maybe you can snap some pictures of places, maybe get some orbs on film. Of course, that might require you to go INSIDE the buildings. I'm going to grant the tour group 2 things. First, I realize it might be hard to find a bunch of interesting places within walking distance of the convention site, and second, we might not be able to go into all of the places he finds. Permission and all that. But at least put some showmanship into it, fercrissakes.
First stop, Union Station. Is this place haunted? Um... maybe? Our tour guide didn't even give us any concrete stories. "This is Union Station, it was build in the 20's and blah blah blah. Soldiers left from here to be deployed in the war. Also, their loved ones would often wait here for their GI's, some of whom would never come home, blah blah, negative energy."
So... what did the soldiers die here? Did some lover of a dead GI throw herself on the tracks? Why the hell do you think someone's actually haunting this place? Is there a story?
"Some people have said they hear noises. Others have seen lights go on and off," and other vague reports. End of story... wow, pretty lame.
Stop two, The Slippery Noodle. I'd heard of this place. Also heard it was one of the most popular bars in town. I was skeptical. The story started off well, "Slippery Noodle was actually Indianapolis's most active brothel at one point. John Dillinger stayed here, and there were numerous gunfights." Okay, now we're getting somewhere, "Hold on, let me check my notes *flip flip*.... .... ... okay, so lots of paranormal sightings here. They think bodies had been buried here after gunfights, and it was said a crew found skeletons when putting new foundation in the basement. One time a worker went downstairs, and a guy was cleaning up. And the worker came back up, and he was like, 'Hey, who's the new guy?' and they were like 'No one else was down there.' ... Celebrities have been here like Gene Simmons from Kiss and... and John Dillinger, once, I think... one time there was a concert, and the guy cleaning up heard footsteps above him. He ran and they seemed to follow him... and one time... b-bones. I think they found bones.... how are we for time?"
Gaaah! I wanted to scream this guy was so lame. All of us tourees were just standing around in stunned silence. The above story took about twenty minutes to tell, as he read it off of his papers. No panache. Where's the magic, guy? Where's our chance to look at some of the old whore rooms in the bar? Nothin?...
So, anyway, the Slippery Noodle's ghosts claimed two more victims that night. We were right behind the tourguide when he started to the next location, and when he turned around again... we were gone! The mystery of the vanishing tourists. No easy feat, considering my Uncle's size.
So we slipped, appropriately enough, into the Slippery Noodle. This place was cool, and will be a Gencon regular stop. Good bar food in addition to some good restaurant dishes at dinner time. They had a nice laid back interior, big and spacious to boot, and some low-key live jazz goin in the back room. We stayed in the front where the music lazily echoed down the halls, and it set up a nice atmosphere. Had a couple good beers for a decent price. I can see why all the bands hang there after their concerts. No ghosts though.
On the way out, we crossed paths with the tour guide on his way back from the group. He probably thought we were ghosts.
... and in retrospect, shit, that tour was $12 per person. There were a couple dozen of us in the group. That guy pulled in like $270 off of us. For an hour of walking a circle around the convention center. Could he really not arrange to get us inside someplace?
So, anyway, we also went to a stripclub that evening. In a word: rough. Well, not the crowd, the boys were all pretty sedated. The ladies were kind of rough.
I did appreciate that the cute girls had no boobs of anykind, though. Its nice to see some natural, even curveless girls. I'm a sucker for a pretty face, anyway.
But, everyone seemed half asleep, and none of the girls really put any effort into the dances. But the were cheap, Don got a lapdance for like $10.
I'd promised my favorite girl to look but not touch, anyway, so lapdances weren't happening... not that I really spend money at stripclubs anyway. I'm cheap. I spent the evening texting back and forth with the lovely Miss JJ, a higher caliber of lady, and more entertaining and alluring, even with her top on.
The last night in Indy, we were really treated to just how slow and sleepy the city was. We went to a sports bar, where we were the only patrons inside. After a few tense moments with the lone old lady bartender, we snuck out to a more happenin' country bar. We had a good time people watching, examining the ladies going around getting free drinks and playing up jealousies, the tough guys, the desperate guys, and all the ways people played their games. Same in the BIble Belt as it is anywhere else.
We bid Indianapolis a fond farewell at last. But really, we'd sucked all the life out of the city. Decent food, sleepy bars, humble midwesterners afraid of the homeless people, and lackluster strippers (at least, compared to my California girls). Another day would have been too much.
But, it was better than Springfield. Fuck Springfield.
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