Leakin' Lubricants!!

*sigh* Did this really need to be saved? .... yes, yes it did. I just couldn't help myself.

A few years ago, a friend of mine by the 'net handle of ExMortis wrote up a mock Transformers slash-fic. If any of you have ever read slash-fic, you know the high literary standards that its authors hold themselves to. *ahem*

The result was this: Leakin' Lubricants. Even though its only about half a page long, I think it might be the finest piece of comedy written in the internet age. Six years later, and I still laugh, every time I see it. So, pulled from the ruins of Live Journal, here we go.

Some stuff never stops haunting you, Mortis...

"Director's commentary: I wish I could say this wasn't the best thing I've done in my life, but I think it probably is.

AUTHORS NOTE
This taeks place right after the season 1 episode "SMOKE ON THE MOUNTAIN" and at the ened this aztec girl says shell take Spike back to meet her brothers blue convertible we call it Juanita so I thought I could write in a big surprise about Juanita :)

LEAKIN' LUBRICANT
by Soundwave69

Bumblebee took Spike and that one girl back to the village to meet Juanita. Bumblebee wasn't expecting Juanita to be a sexy female transformer!
"Your a autobot?" Says Bumblebee. "Yes I got off the ark 4 million years ago and took the form of this girl's brother's corvette" says Juanit\a. "Pretty hot for a 4m illion years old chick" says Spike "You said it".
So Juanita starts to take off Bumblebee's codpiece "What in the universE?" Says Bee but Juanity just takes it off and begins to suck his cybertronic penis. Oohh" Bee mo

ans. Spike is starting to get horny too when that girl says hey lets get inside them while they have sex and we can have sex to oif you know what I mean, it's good to have robots for friends :)
Bumblebee is doing Juanita in the driveway there and Spike anmd the girl are pluged into their optics and sexual sensors so they feel it too, and its hot. Yo udont think robots would have hot sex but they do. Finally Bumblebee shoots his lubricant all over Juanita's face.
Then Optimus prime showed up from where Megatron had the aztec gun made of cybertron steel. But they beat him and megatron wasn't there anymore so Optimus prime was going back to the Arc. He was like "Autobots! Transform and fuck Juanita" except he was the only one there and Bumblebee but Bumblebee already was done so Optimus just laughed and fucked juanita but he didn't transform either.
This time the girl was still in Juanita but spike wasn't so the girl got like fucked by Optimus Prime. He has the biggest cybertron penis out of all the autobots even bigger than Soundwave's if you believe that so Juanita had a lot of pleasure needless to say.

TO BE CONTUNIED..."

If you want more, a cursory search online produced a site that had 46 pages of nothing but gay Transformers art. Rule 34, people, I can't even begin to make all of this up. Click on the out-of-context-boner-lookin-still-frame to see more... you perv.