Brains? I'll just stick to the Cadbury Cream Eggs, thanks...

Easter is almost over, but if you're not quite ready to say goodbye to the Holy Ghost and all of his buddies, then you need to pop on over to Brutal as Hell, where we're got a series of posts celebrating Zombie Jesus Day! Wind down with a collection of reviews, looking a the finest of zombie films, and maybe even a couple of flicks featuring Jesus Christ himself! The Passion?, you ask. NO! We're talking Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, reviewed by yours truly.

Plus, original Easter art!

Click the pic to go to Brutal as Hell, and celebrate the resurrection of your lord and savior in style. If you can do it while eating the flesh of your choosing... bonus!

Gasoline Wars!!

Yesterday, a number of news outlets were reporting the national average price of gasoline hitting $4/gallon. People are starting to complain, but its still just the general grumbles. But how long before the complaints begin to grow? Before it turns to yelling and shouting? Then outrage, revolts, riots?

What's our breaking point? $5/gallon? $6... maybe we go all the way to $10?

I'm just curious because I want to be ready when its time for me to put on my spiked cod piece and hockey mask and raid the neighboring towns for their fuel supplies. I imagine trying to raid the little town of Pahrump too early would be kind of a social faux pas.

"You have made me unleash my dogs of war. There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the Chicken Ranch Brothel (NSFW), and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the...um, Nevada desert. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. "

(those guys in the background are the Team Vegas Heroclix crew)

Ahh, a glimpse of the future. Don't worry, I'm really a very civil warlord. Just don't forget to address me as "The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!", and we'll be alright. 

My Favorite Ladies

 Here's a little fluff piece for ya'll.

I rarely put 'cheesecake' up on the site. I really try to avoid it because, dammit, its everywhere, and its played for cheap ratings boosts from horny nerds. Its too easy to really have any artistic value, IMO. I think we should be able to convey beauty without lingering on cheap tit shots and... well, its a rant unto itself.

Still, I'm sitting here watching Dr Who season 5, and loving the character of Amy Pond, and I thought I should put up a little collection of my favorite, most attractive, actresses. Many of them get overshadowed by the Megan Foxes of the world (blerg), so here is a little moment for them to shine...

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Olivia Wilde

I'd seen her before as the Baroness in a GI Joe parody video (playing the clarinet, no less), and as Madonna in a Weird Al video, but Olivia really stood out this year in Tron: Legacy.
She has a TON of make-up on in that movie, so its kind of hard to tell how much of that is really her. She seems to look a lot more rough outside of the films... but then, who doesn't? From stills, she only looked jaw-dropping, to me, in that one film, as the living computer program, but her character was so goddamn adorable in the movie, that she couldn't be ignored. I'll have my eye out for her in future stuff, for sure. If nothing else, she can really fill out some leather jump-suits. Those are pretty popular, these days...

#5: Scarlett Johansson

Speaking of jump-suits, we just saw Scarlett here wearing one in Iron Man 2 as the SHIELD agent, Black Widow. Scarlett's had an interesting evolution in film, going from punk-ish girl next door in Ghost World, then to bored house wife in Lost in Translation, and quickly she turned over to glamor girl and femme fatale.
She hasn't really had a ton of film roles, but they've all been memorable, and mostly just because of how she looks.
I almost hate to say that, but seriously, she rarely even gets any good lines. She's just mesmerizing on the screen.

#4: Natalie Portman: The Professional and Star Wars Episode 1, I've kind of grown up along with Natalie Portman. She an interesting actress, as she shows a lot of versatility, but she needs a strong director. Star Wars was a good example of her just phoning in the performance, and V for Vendetta, as much as I love that movie, also shows that, sometimes, damn she can be weak. But despite those, you see things like Garden State and most recently Black Swan, and you can't help but see and respect her talent. With the right guidance, Natalie can dominate the screen. And, with her innocent face, the ability to adopt a tough attitude, and comedic timing (see her Lonely Island videos), she's become versatile enough to fit into any movie. She's the go-to girl, kinda like how George Cloony is for leading men.
She did a nude scene once in the short film Hotel Chevalier. She was beautiful, and it was an excellent little short. But, she was embarrassed by the way everyone spread still shots of it around. Thanks for ruining it for us all, guys, she says she'll never do another. Well, enjoy that one you got, people.

#3: Anna Farris: I was sad when she got her plastic surgery done. Anna had some work done on her nose and lips. The lip work is kind of obvious, they're just a little TOO plump for her, and there seems to be a little scar on one of them. Well, she still pretty much has that same girlish charm that got me during Scary Movie.
Her real charm and talent comes from her comedy. Anna's movies don't appeal to all crowds, though she does run the gamut from Lost In Translation to House Bunny, art to fluff; but no matter your taste its impossible to ignore her great comedic timing. And her face, oh God, her face. Its probably the most expressive of any female comic working now. She's got this Lucille Ball kind of range of facial expressions, and I just can't stop laughing at her when she starts mugging for the camera.

#2: Emma Stone: Also in House Bunny, where she played the lead 'extremely nerdy chick', Anna Farris saved the day by slutting her up a bit. Emma works on screen because she's got good girl charm, but kind of an evil grin, and beauty to accompany those assets. Following up on Zombieland, Easy A was her big breakout roll, where she took the lead and solidified herself as an actress who plays smart, level-headed female characters who overcomes obstacles with good intentions and a bit of articulation. Her kind of roles have otherwise been pretty rare in film lately, and its great to see them back. I can't help but think that they must reflect some part of her own personality.
Frankly, its part of her appeal. The ability to mix sex appeal with intelligence, wit, and a strength of moral character, and to STILL be interesting and funny on screen... she's the type of girl you'd take home to Ma. Can't wait to see her play Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spider-Man films.

               

 

#1: Karen Gillan: She's the girl who inspired this little column. Amy Pond, of Dr Who's latest season. I really only know her from that show, though its a good 12 hours of screen time, so you see her in a range of situations and the emotional spectrum. Amy has won over most Who fans in a way no other companion probably has since Sarah Jane, way back in the Tom Baker days.
Its the adorable round face, the striking red hair, the lilting Scottish accent, that lean body, her cheeky remarks, everything she does on screen is a delight. And, Hell, she just looks like she'd be a good kisser, doesn't she? Maybe that's just me...
There's not been a moment of her time on screen, be it embarrassing her parents at a wedding, blasting aliens, time traveling to torment herself as a little girl, or falling in love with Roman soldiers, in moments funny or sad (but mostly funny), that's been anything less than wonderful. The 6th season starts this Saturday night.

So, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for humoring me, folks. Go check out the fine work of these actresses, some of them well known, some not so much. All of them, though, worth watching.

         

Found Art and Scary Babies

I was recently trying to earn a little extra cash doing some political work out here in Vegas. While I was prowling about, door-to-door, I came across a little note on the ground, which some school girl had surely dropped. I'd hoped for a juicy love letter, but I found a work of fiction instead. I thought I'd share this masterpiece, typed verbatim:

Mary     This happend in 2003

One day this girl named mary she was walking home from school she saw this shadow and it looked like a man with spikeie hair she stop and look and saw nothin' she kept walking finaly she was at her house she got her keys out of her packet and opened her house door her mom and her baby brother was there her dad died from sliping in the shower but there was something that had to do with the bady mary is the main one who takes care of her baby brother because her mom is scared of the bady. (editor's note: at last, this story, and likely its writer, just reached its first period!)

Everytime she looks at her bady she sees something evil mary knows how her dad really died they day he died he toke a shower but sometimes the sister puts the bady down so the bady can cawl around so while the dad is takeing a shower the bady go's crawling to the shower and when the bady opens the door he looks at his father with his RED evil eyes and nobody can look the bady in the eyes because if they do, they will die.

Your education system at work, Nevada. Okay, a little unfair. I don't know who wrote this thing, and without that context, I mean, this could have been written by a brilliant effing 1st grader or something. 

Two things that stand out to me: firstly, what's up with the shadow Mary sees at the beginning here? It doesn't seem to be related to the baby at all. Well, maybe the author is just prepping for a career writing ghost stories for Hollywood by making the ghost DO SHIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE to fill in 90 minutes of runtime before finally getting around to revenge or possessing their sister, or whatever. 

My other question is... this girl knows how to pronounce the word 'baby', right? I mean, she knows what a 'b' looks like, because she uses it to begin the word. But, there we are, two whole letters later, and she's swapped it for a 'd'. Bady? A typo is one thing, but she's made that same error about a dozen times in two, um, sentences. So, either she thinks the word is pronounced 'Baedee' or she's working under the impression that consonants in alliterative words have to be mirror images of each other. 

Well, if she doesn't drop out of school and go to work for the Spearmint Rhino this year, maybe I'll find a sequel on the ground one of these days. We need to see how Mary takes care of the evil, demonic bady. 

Affection/Affectation Plays at Bare Bones Film Festival!!

Probably the first of many posts about this. So, for all of those who subscribe to this blog, my Twitter, my Facebook, and all of that... well, you don't get an apology, just grin and bare it. This is PMP Production's first film fest selection and, like an over-eager teen who just lost his virginity, we've got to brag about it where ever we can.

So, more concisely stated: Affection/Affectation, the first full-length feature completed by Lawrence, KS based PMP Productions, and Directed by Aubry Peters, has been made an official selection of the Bare Bones Film Festival. As if that weren't cool enough, the film has also been nominated for Best Comedy of the year, and Aubry has been nominated for Film Auteur of the Year. Really, its an honor just to get a selection (we can put those little laurels on subsequent package printings! And not ironically or mockingly!), but to get the nominations on top is just... well, its goddamn amazing is what it is.

The one down-side is that the film's screening area is away from the main festival, and in a little side shop, John Michael's. So, if you're in the Oklahoma area, or attending the con, please find your way over to the screening. If you know people who might be going to the festival, or live in Oklahoma, tell them to check out the film. We're small, of course, and can use all the support we can gather.

Link to Festival Info

Link to Venue Info

Link to Film Trailer

Also, the film is already available on DVD. I know Aubry just got fresh copies in from the printers, and they should be ready to ship! Get a copy for yourself here. A bargain really. Amazon will carry this eventually, but they will be doubling the price, so buy direct.

Not ones to rest on our laurels, PMP has also had one of its shorts, You Dun It, directed by yours truly, requested by the Dead by Dawn film fest in Scotland. If we get selected to screen, be aware, I'm calling for donations so I can fly over there and crash in a hostel to be able to show the damn thing.

And, as mentioned last time, production has officially begun on The Dire Digest, our second full length feature. Without going into too much detail, its a horror piece, and each of the PMP founders will be shooting and directing their own segment of the film. Portland's own Josh Winegarner has just finished shooting his section, with myself as the (nearly dead) lead actor. Only five more to go! More on that as it develops.

In the meantime, thanks very much to everyone who has supported the works so far, and also to those who will be supporting in the near future. Our little group has stories to tell, and its all of the encouragement given by friends and family that allow us to pursue our dreams, and cast our voices out into the world.

Update!!

Been a while since I've done much with the writing, aside from the lengthy Heroclix reviews. Its been a pretty sparse March for witty words and turns of phrase. I've been working on some new projects with a few film fellows from the area and beyond. A quick update:

- PMP Productions has entered into production on its 2nd full length feature! The first section of this anthology film is now filmed, and ready for editing! More soon...

- Glenbrook Studios is beginning pre-production on their new super-secret big project which will launch the studio officially into the large, full-feature domain. I can't give any details, but if you're interested in getting onto the ground floor of this exciting new venture, Google them, and see if you can lend talent or even further funding.

- VegasWood studios is in the script phase of a new, character driven feature film. I've got the outline in, and the full script will be drafted soon.

- Padinga is skyrocketing in popularity, content, and quality. Check out Padinga.com right away!

So, I'm pretty busy, but more content will be on the way very, very quickly. Keep them eyes peeled!

GAMA Day 2: Heroclix

I spent the whole day in the Wizkids booth today, and no complaints. I spent 5 hours talking about Heroclix. A lot of it was describing orders vs shortages and their fixes to people, or giving suggestions about how to grow their organized play environments, but hey, one of my favorite topics. There's very little else I could talk about for 5 hours... maybe movies and naked ladies, but I think that's it.

So... spoilers for late 2011/early 2012. I know, I know, keep it in your pants, fellas. I wasn't allowed to take photos, because some of the stuff is still in concept, and they can't use images of anything licensed until its approved by the owner. That said, some things may change before release, take them with a grain of salt. Still, exciting news...

- Green Lantern is confirmed for a May 15th release. $15.99 MSRP, it has 6 figs from the GL movie, with costumes based on that design. This is the first of the new Fast Forces packs. Similar to a starter, but without rule book and tokens and things, so the price point is lower, a bit more accessible for new players. Includes a 2-Sided Map, and dice. (They will at least be green. They want to put the lantern symbol on them, but cost and time may prohibit this) Figures make two 300 point forces, or one up to 600.

- There is also a Thor Fast Forces pack to coincide with that movie. Its been solicited to stores, but no info was released at the show so far as contents.

- Captain America: 2 releases. First, the Gravity Feed. June 15th release day, 1 fig, $2.99. These will have sculpts from the main Cap set, but new dials. On June 29th, the main Cap set releases. Currently 63 figs in set, including ones with removable components. Figs shown included Cap on a peanut base, with his shield being tossed/bounced off a wall, held in clear plastic to represent the impact. Shield is removable, and other figs can pick up/use it. Weapon X is in his tube; he has a counter system so that after a few turns, if he's not defeated, he breaks out and goes berserker on enemy figures. Human Torch has a Charge mechanic for a Nova Blast, he has a removable flame bubble-thing that goes around his figure when he's charged. There will be 6 or 7 figs like this in the set. Also, a huge, SR MODOK was revealed. He absolutely dwarfs the old Modok, big, highly detailed.

- Street Fighter is tentatively scheduled for August, but that could well change, depending on Capcom's wishes. There are 33 figs in the set, representing 24 characters. The others will be repaints in their SFII Turbo colors, with unique dials. These are sold in 1 fig boosters, 24 to a box. HOWEVER, the set is collated so that if you by 12 of them, they are wrapped like a brick. In each brick, there are NO dupes. If you buy both bricks, the dupes should be kept to a minimum. All but 1 fig has a clear plastic element (IE, Ryu is charging his Hadoken, Guile looks awesome on his Flash Kick, in mid-air). While these are Clix compatible, there are also unique rules for 1v1 fighting-game-like gameplay.

- Lord of the Rings will be released in a couple different formats. It will be compatible with Heroclix, but like Street Fighter, it will also have its own unique, Epic Rules to run a rings-like, simulation skirmish. There is a deluxe set, similar to Watchmen, called the Campaign Box. It will have a similar price point. For those who want the figs but can't do it all at once, there will be a starter and some single-fig packs as well. Should be out this year.

- Superman is set for Fall of 2011. Currently set at 54 figs. This set is going to try something a little different with the Brick fig, randomly packing it into one of the packs in the brick itself, so retailers dont have to worry about storing the damn things. Busted bricks on the shelves might happen to treat a buyer with an extra random brick figure inside. Supposedly it will contain the 'definitive' Superman, or a close approximation; they want to offer fans a big, accessible Superman like they've been clamoring for. Also shown were designs for Superboy (Reign of the Supermen), Black Adam (designed by the last champ), Cyborg Supes and Darkseid. Those last 3 looked unbelievably cool.

- Halo clix will now be compatible with Heroclix. Summer release, 40 figs, Boosters and single fig packs. Also have their own unique, optional rules. No plans for vehicles... yet.

- Gears of War 3. 10 Figs, single fig packs. Release date TBD by the release of the game, which has to street first.

- Okay, so big news for 2012. First off, those 3 Marvel releases that were teased on HCRealms yesterday. Those are Hulk, Infinity Gauntlet, and The Mighty Avengers. They will be out... all in the first half of 2012? They are smaller sets (think 30-45 figs?) for easier collectability. Also, close together so that if there is a crazy rush, like on GSX, or even just with a sell-out like DC 75th, there is something else right around the corner for players to anticipate. Each set will have its own OP kit, but the events in them will kind of have a thematic link between them, leading up to a big event at the end. Think Coming of Galactus big. This will be made in a way to encourage players to stick around through all the events, rather than just sniping one LE and retiring.

- So, what about DC? Well, plans are slower for them because Justin and DC are in talks about doing some new stuff. First off, they'd like to do a big set like GSX with Super Boosters for DC. The only big thing they have access to right now is the Batmobile, which is still out there, and waiting for the right time to release. It'll be up to their collaborative brainstorming to determine what's going on there. There is also a new possible type of release that... well, I don't really know the details to it, and I think Justin is really pumped about it and will want to announce it himself. But I will say that it reminds me of reminds me of another use for the abbreviation DC. Direct. Current.


Also addressed were the Zero to Hero programs, the new store-finder and OP programs online, investigation into venues selling OP kits and other vendor-related issues. If any stores would like summaries of that info, let me know.

Also asked about: Horrorclix. No plans right now. Won't rule it out forever, but its a brand that was only successful in pockets, and needs serious reevaluation.

Pirates: Brand is not dead, but the polystyrene format is. It has become too cost-prohibitive to produce that style of game now.

No current Indyclix plans.

Aaaand that's all the pertinent WK info for now. *whew* busy weekend.

GAMA Day 1

I'm helping at GAMA this year (Game Manufacturer's Trade Show) at the booth for Wizkids, the guys who make Heroclix. I took advantage of my Exhibitor pass to take in a couple of the press releases, wander around, and swipe cookies and fried chicken from the banquet hall.

Early day tomorrow if I want to hit the Wizkids Heroclix presentation (and I do. Shit's like plastic crack, and I needs me my hit). But, I wanted to throw up some info for what I saw today. The short, short version:

Steve Jackson Games:
I only mention them first because I saw at their booth a banner for Mother Effin' AXE COP: THE GAME!! "Chop Their Heads Off and Take Their Stuff!" I pooped. And orgasmed. It was awkward.

Wizkids:
Sat in on their presentation, so I obviously saw the most from them.

Hunger Games:
- Based on the Young Adult fiction series of the same name, which I understand is becoming immensely popular, and may have a movie coming out soon. WK snatched up the rights to this series preemptively, and they have a game based on its post-apocalyptic, gladiator-training remnant society. Aside from that, no idea how it plays, but I know its being, currently, marketed towards the teen girl demographic. I'm amazed that a series of books about gladiators fighting on a scorched Earth is selling so well with teen girls, but more power to 'em. Can't be worse than Twilight, and we can always use more girl gamers.

Christmas Story:
Based on the old movie with Ralphie and the bunny suit... you know the one. Its an old school board game based around movie trivia. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Jeff Dunham:
Not much known here, other than they have a license based around the popular Vegas comedian. I see this giant towering over me, Galactus style, on the highway every day. Game may or may not be based around joke cards, and may or may not have an electronic reader with vocals. Party game for that Scattergories type of crowd who happens to watch a lot of Comedy Central.

Iron Maiden:
Already known by most gamers, this release targeted at old Metal fans comes in 2 forms. First will be a stand-alone board game with 4 highly detailed figures of Eddie, the IM mascot/zombie/warrior. There will also be a Heroclix compatible set of the figs in a gravity feed or something. More on that tomorrow. Release date, "This year-ish".

Star Trek (Two games, Expeditions and Fleet Captains):

- Expeditions- Based on the new movie universe, this is a fast-paced cooperative game. It has a mission tree, which is a series of cards with Dilemmas on them which must be solved using your Crew's skills. Over time, the missions branch out, and you follow the path, based on your success rate, down to the final resolution of your story arc to see how your mission ended. Success or failure. 1-4 players, about $50. 300 cards makes for a ton of mission variety. This one releases June 15th. Not sure about this next game. I think they're shooting for fall. It has more pieces and a longer production time.

- Fleet Captains- This is the big boy, much bigger than I'd expected. MSRP $80-100 (not sure yet). Its a hex-tile based game, a bit in the vein of Twilight Imperium. The universe is randomized, but unlike TI, you can make the universe in all kinds of geometric patterns, whatever floats your boat. Currently 2 or 4 players, you play as Federation or Klingons and you vie for planetary control across the universe. Your ships have limited power to spread between engines, shields, weapons systems, and you have to plan accordingly how to use them each turn, to maneuver, to defend, to attack. Contains 24 large, deluxe, sculpted miniatures, and a whole bunch of cards and tokens and things. Has characters and event cards spanning all of the Treks, except for the movie. That is 'its own universe' even in the game. Future expansions with more races may be coming.

Quarriors- Dice based game. 20 minutes to learn, 30 minutes to play each game. 130 pre-molded dice, and a few cards to go with each. Large dice pool and randomized cards which change the functions of the dice make for some surprises and lots of replay value.

Mage Knight- The brand is being relaunched, but I'll say that the game is not. This is not compatible with the old Mage Knight figs, so leave them on the shelf. However, the world, the fiction, the characters that the game was based on will return. This is a boxed game, not collectible. It does have a click mechanic, but its not a squad-based game. This iteration will be an epic campaign game with more of a roleplaying edge. No details on mechanics yet.

Lord of the Rings- Again, they are using the license for two products. There will be a Heroclix compatible one, but for now, I've only heard about this board game. Stand Alone, 1-4 players, semi-coop. Players play as the Nazgul, hunting the Hobbits. Players have to work together to find and kill the Ring-Bearer before he reaches Mount Doom. Failure means all the players lose. However, there can only be one winner, so at some point, you have to start stabbing each other in the backs. Could be fun. Play with good friends, or risk getting stabbed.

There were also Smurfs and Gremlins, but those are so far out of my demographic, typing about them will cause me to seize up.

Wizkids is definitely all about variety this year, with a ton of games for a ton of audiences, each with their own feel and medium. Its quite a change from the day where it was 50 iterations of Clix (though, more of those too). You can see them trying to stretch and reach as many people as they can, building a solid foundation in poor financial times that they might grow with explosive speed when people are spending cash like crazy again. I think Trek, in particular, could stick around. It wasn't long ago I started looking at old 80's Trek games, wishing there was a good board game for the property. A friend of mine has this old-assed Klingon Empire politics game, and its pretty solid fun. Really looking forward to seeing Fleet Captains completed.

As for the other guys...

AEG:

Where Wizkids was all about growth, AEG took the other business direction and has decided to trim the fat. They released some products that did weaker sales last year, and they say that they knew out of the gate that they might fail. This year, its all about the core titles.

- Legend of the Five Rings Emperor Edition- The old game gets a facelift. Better art, refined card design, better packaging, new marketing campaign. This is now the Premium CCG. I've always liked this game, I hope it continues to thrive.

- L5R gets some more boxed campaign stuff for their RPGs.

- I don't know much about Nightfall and Thunderstone, but they both will receive heavy support this year, with a new expansion for Nightfall, and plenty of supplements for Thunderstone.

They have made the transition from CCG guys to Boxed Game guys. This year will be a time of fortification before seeking more expansion. Oh, but there is some mystery Ninja game they're working on...

Wizards of the Coast:

- So far, not a whole lot going on here. More Magic: The Gathering, which has continued its growth, as always. Still remains the most stable game in most stores. Some pictures with packaging for the next set popped up, but that's about it. I expect more announcements over the week, of course. Today was just spent touting Magic. ... do these guys have any other licenses now? D&D of course, but the minis line got cancelled... maybe we'll see some more boxed games. Those seem to be a huge hit for everyone right now.

Sandstorm:
- Biggest announcement was the continuation of Cthulhu Tech, and the introduction of a Cthulhu Tech miniatures game, kind of in the WarMachine vein. Plan is to release base armies, and then 1 new unit for each of 4 factions each month.

- Another heavy sci-fi, Lovecraft inspired RPG set is on the way this year. Revamped rule set. Also, in general, just a lot of Sci-Fi RPG books. Great production value on some of these.

- A few other party games coming. Nuts! and Kittens in a Blender stood out the most.

Paizo:

Turn your mic up, none of us could hear anything, dammit!


Okay, and that's what I've got for now. Time for bed. Photos coming in time... but not today. I'll probably have a photo album mash-up at the end of the week.

     

I probably shouldn't be thinking this hard about Dragon Ball Z

... but, here it is.

So, I'm watching the remastered DBZ, known as Dragon Ball Kai, where they've cut out much of the filler and random yelling and flashbacks, so the story moves briskly, is in-line with the comics, and its all redone in HD. Awesome.

So, we're at the part where Cell detonates himself to destroy the Earth, and Goku has to teleport him to King Kai's world to save the planet.

So, Cell's explosion would be enough to disintegrate the planet, meaning he could destroy a ball of solid rock 7,926 miles in diameter. King Kai's planet LOOKS like its floating all on its own in this episode, but its not, its at the end of Snake Way, a narrow path that leads to King Yamma's soul processing Heaven gate, and also passes over Hell somewhere in the middle.

Its been established that Snake Way is 10,000 miles long. It also has many long curves in it, and it doesn't go in a straight path. With those curves probably taking up about a third of the distance, its roughly 6,666 miles between King Kai and King Yamma, with Hell between them (appropriate). If Cell's explosion will be 7,926 miles wide, at the least, then that must mean that King Yamma, Hell, and Heaven, or at least its gates, were all destroyed in the explosion as well, right?

... and yet, they pop up again later, completely untouched.

I guess I really shouldn't think too hard about a show where super-powered karate men shoot beams at each other to win a magic set of wishing spheres... but, it happens.
 
  

External Linkage Double Dose

I forgot to put a couple of my articles here in the archives. Well, no time like the present. Over on Padinga, we explore the death of Guitar Hero. Find that HERE.


And over on Brutal As Hell, we talk about the VOD release of the Chinese Horror flick, Dream Home. Find that HERE.

Its GOOD FOR YOU!!!... but really, do go and support these two fine media outlets.

External Linkage

After a long wait, we're treated once again with another fantastic fright-fest from BthroughZ.com! This month's issue includes a plethora of interviews, and a gaggle of film reviews, atop a cornucopia of cadavers. Er... something, yeah, that works.

Speaking of BthroughZ, have you ever tried Googling that? The site's title, run through a search engine, produces probably the greatest series of non-sequitur images ever conceived. Along with Jamie's awesome art compilations and the beautiful faces of both Britt (who actually Edits Brutal As Hell... whatever) and Ben, you also find a bevy of bloody, bare-breasted babes and an assortment of mind-twisting images. Example below. Follow the period girl to the front page.

Here are direct links to my own work for the month, an interview with and review of the film works of Andre Perkowski. He's an odd duck, and a very unique film personality. Give 'em a read! Your brain will thank you, just before it explodes.

FILMS OF

WORDS WITH

Leakin' Lubricants!!

*sigh* Did this really need to be saved? .... yes, yes it did. I just couldn't help myself.

A few years ago, a friend of mine by the 'net handle of ExMortis wrote up a mock Transformers slash-fic. If any of you have ever read slash-fic, you know the high literary standards that its authors hold themselves to. *ahem*

The result was this: Leakin' Lubricants. Even though its only about half a page long, I think it might be the finest piece of comedy written in the internet age. Six years later, and I still laugh, every time I see it. So, pulled from the ruins of Live Journal, here we go.

Some stuff never stops haunting you, Mortis...

"Director's commentary: I wish I could say this wasn't the best thing I've done in my life, but I think it probably is.

AUTHORS NOTE
This taeks place right after the season 1 episode "SMOKE ON THE MOUNTAIN" and at the ened this aztec girl says shell take Spike back to meet her brothers blue convertible we call it Juanita so I thought I could write in a big surprise about Juanita :)

LEAKIN' LUBRICANT
by Soundwave69

Bumblebee took Spike and that one girl back to the village to meet Juanita. Bumblebee wasn't expecting Juanita to be a sexy female transformer!
"Your a autobot?" Says Bumblebee. "Yes I got off the ark 4 million years ago and took the form of this girl's brother's corvette" says Juanit\a. "Pretty hot for a 4m illion years old chick" says Spike "You said it".
So Juanita starts to take off Bumblebee's codpiece "What in the universE?" Says Bee but Juanity just takes it off and begins to suck his cybertronic penis. Oohh" Bee mo

ans. Spike is starting to get horny too when that girl says hey lets get inside them while they have sex and we can have sex to oif you know what I mean, it's good to have robots for friends :)
Bumblebee is doing Juanita in the driveway there and Spike anmd the girl are pluged into their optics and sexual sensors so they feel it too, and its hot. Yo udont think robots would have hot sex but they do. Finally Bumblebee shoots his lubricant all over Juanita's face.
Then Optimus prime showed up from where Megatron had the aztec gun made of cybertron steel. But they beat him and megatron wasn't there anymore so Optimus prime was going back to the Arc. He was like "Autobots! Transform and fuck Juanita" except he was the only one there and Bumblebee but Bumblebee already was done so Optimus just laughed and fucked juanita but he didn't transform either.
This time the girl was still in Juanita but spike wasn't so the girl got like fucked by Optimus Prime. He has the biggest cybertron penis out of all the autobots even bigger than Soundwave's if you believe that so Juanita had a lot of pleasure needless to say.

TO BE CONTUNIED..."

If you want more, a cursory search online produced a site that had 46 pages of nothing but gay Transformers art. Rule 34, people, I can't even begin to make all of this up. Click on the out-of-context-boner-lookin-still-frame to see more... you perv. 

External Linkage

Another review up on BRUTAL AS HELL, this time for Sean Bean vehicle Black Death. Its pretty awesome, check out the deets on BAH.

Or, if you want to just jump right to the movie, follow the links below!


(Links forthcoming, I appear to have beaten Amazon to the punch in adding their VOD images)

Your Highness

Last night, Vegas was treated to a preview screening of the upcoming movie, Your Highness. Its a new comedy Directed by David Gordon Green, most famous for Pineapple Express, and written by and starring Danny McBride of Eastbown and Down, which is also one of Green's productions. 

Right off the bat, lemme tell ya, if you're going to go see this movie, you better be comfortable with dicks. Every couple seconds, you'll be hearing about, thinking about, and maybe even seeing a bit of cock. If you're okay with that, then proceed. 

Your Highness is a medieval comedy with a few stoner twists tacked on (appropriate, given the creators' past works). The adventure mainly belongs to Thadeous (McBride), though the quest would not even be were it not for his brother Fabious (James Franco, 127 Hours, Spider-Man). Fabious has returned from his latest quest, once again successful and heroic, this time with a betrothed Bride, the lovely and simple (possible Asperger's Syndrome?) Belladonna (Zooey Dechenel). There is a great celebration for Flabious's wedding, and its during this that the sibling rivalry that drives the movie kicks in. 

Thadeous lives in his brother's shadow, getting stoned and messing up even the simplest of tasks, usually in his bid at bedding whatever easy ladies may cross his path. He feels he can never live up to his brother's might and valor, and skips the wedding, opting to go toke-up with the Shepards  outside of town. Its during this night of cavorting and sheep-chasing that the castle is attacked by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux, Parks and Recreation), who steals Belladonna, hoping to impregnate her with his wizard's seed so that he might have her birth a dragon in accordance with an ancient prophecy. 

Okay, so, that's the detailed explanation. Really it all boils down to: bad guy has the girl, and is doing bad stuff. Brothers have to stop bad guy by putting their differences aside. Yes, Thadeus is ordered to help his brother save his bride or be exiled, much to his disdain. Fabious regards the thing as a grand adventure, two brothers on a quest, and acts giddy with child-like glee through the whole escapade. 

Oh, and along the way they run into Isabel (Natalie Portman, Black Swan). We'll come back to her in a second. 

So, the best way to describe this thing, and I'm usually loathe to use this technique, is to compare it to two other well known movies. Its Robin Hood: Men in Tights meets Tropic Thunder. Seriously. It has the goofiness and irreverence of Robin Hood, but it is dirtier and raunchier and feels like Tropic Thunder, no doubt thanks to McBride's writing. I don't know that I'll say its as successful as Tropic Thunder, as its not as nicely layered with biting satire, or as relatable, but it does work in a lot of ways. 

So, overall I liked it, and I think the test audience did too. There were lots of laughs the whole time through, and some surprising one-liners that you could hear a few audience members repeat out loud, as if doing so just made the moment that much more satisfying. There are also some action scenes and creative magic attacks that are honestly pretty impressive, but the audience isn't so into the story as to really care all that much. We want the jokes, dammit!

What makes the film work all around is the cast. McBride is pretty funny as Thadeus, though his character isn't anything new. He's your typical selfish slob that has to find his own self-worth and turn it around and yadda yadda yadda. This could have been played by Jack Black or Seth Rogan and it would have been pretty much the same. A necessary character to have, in order to have a development arc, but the character is very plug and play. Fabious is what makes the brother dynamic work. James Franco is my homeboy. Since Spider-Man 2 (not so much the first one), this guy's been impressing the crap out of me in dramatic and comedic roles. He just seems to put 110% into every role he plays. Also, he's on my top list of dudes in Hollywood I'd want to party with. He brings a bit of serious action, melodramatic intensity, and a ridiculous child-like wonder to the role. He really seems to love his brother, and enjoy every second of the adventure, and he passes that along to the audience. 

Of course, its just as the brother dynamic starts to get a little too serious, wear a little thin, that we're introduced to Natalie Portman as Isabelle. Though she gets first billing, Portman is only in about half the movie, so you can tell how much value her star has these days. Her character is played completely straight, which is what makes her so ridiculously funny. She's in so many stupid situations, but her straight-man attitude is so over-important that you can't help but laugh at her. She's like a 90's comic character, all blood and guts and misery, with a hatred for her enemies that "has been burning in her beaver for years." Natalie keeps the movie fresh and sexy, and the audience seemed to really like seeing the Best Actress contender flex her comedic muscles. 

Beyond the cast and their great delivery, there are a few choice scenes that all audiences who aren't easily offended should enjoy. Highlights include a visit to a perverted old wizard (Voiced by John Kassir, famous for The Crypt Keeper's voice), a battle against a giant snake backed by an army of topless women, a hilarious dash of anachronism (just about every curse or cheer sees the characters drop their fakey Brit accents and use modern expressions), and most memorably a well-endowed minotaur. Yes, he's hung like a bull. 

Toss in a few bizarre bickerings between the (honestly underused) Belladonna and the wizard, and you've got the workings of a good genre comedy. Nothing like seeing the wedding ceremony banquet and then creeping over to the tower of the bachelor wizard to see him making a feast of fish sticks, mashed potatoes, and peas. 

On a more personal note, this movie works very well for the nerd-niche. Your Highness plays very similar to the silliest nights playing Dungeons and Dragons. You know those evenings, where your DM has crafted this epic, in-all-seriousness adventure full of twists and turns and drama. Your characters get in place, you think you can stop the evil-wizard's plans for the young virgin and then... you roll a critical miss. And your character yells, "Fuck. Balls! This fuckin' quest sucks." Likewise, you get the character who has to get drunk at every turn, and the character that is so stupidly serious and badass that everyone else snickers at them behind their back. Everything becomes a sexual innuendo. Before you know it, the drama is gone, and the game has become guys tossing dice around and making sex jokes. Thats Your Highness. Its my Saturday nights in High School compressed into two hours. 

Alright, so, from that you should be able to tell if this is your kind of movie or not. Its sick and twisted, its really just ridiculously goofy, and full of 'what the fuck?' kind of moments all the way through. Good for a shocker kind of laugh. Here's a couple things to watch out for. 

First off, the stoner humor doesn't really work. Its kind of tossed in because of the connection to Pineapple Express, and it does kind of fit the character of Thadeous, but its honestly the weakest selection of jokes in the film. There are probably a lot of weed jokes on the cutting room floor, and the ones that are left in the movie just seem to stick out like a sore thumb, and never go anywhere. The ones in the wizard's chamber do pretty well, but the rest just kind of hang around awkwardly. There need to be either more of these to play off each other, or none at all. 

Of course, that's kind of the whole issue that makes the movie feel a little jumbled and weird is the editing. Its terrible. People just looking for a night out and a few laughs won't notice, really, but the cinema-philes will hate the bad cuts and the lack of continuity. This is becoming more typical in the post-Apatow era of comedy movies. Film the thing, ad-lib and whole bunch of different lines, and cut and paste a movie together from the favorite takes. Sometimes the lines dont' fit in certain scenes though, and sometimes scenes get excised as all the constant ad-libbing changes the flow of the movie. Its noticeable. You get things like lines in the trailer that aren't in the movie, some jokes that seem to get cut-off half developed, and other ones that maybe go on a bit too long. Continuity errors result, the most notorious one being a spear that magically appears next to a previously captured and unarmed Isabelle, just before she uses it to kill a major bad guy. There was probably supposed to be a sequence in there where she got the spear, but it was likely cut around in favor of other jokes, or the joke in that scene got ad-libbed in somewhere else. I get the feeling there are a lot of these that will pop up upon multiple viewings. 

See that picture up there in the above paragraph? That scene is in the movie, but that shot isn't; just more ad-libs than an editor knows what to do with. 

Overall, its not bad. I had a good time, and I think most of the rest of the audience did too. A strange crowd pleaser in the vein of Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Superbad, Walk Hard, etc. The sword and sorcery bit may be a little too exotic for some, but if you can get into the fantasy elements and laugh at the old cliches, then you'll really dig this sloppy, goofy mess of a movie for what it is.

Hey, bonus, there's a big cock hastily edited out of the below scene from the end of the movie. Can you spot it? I guarantee if you go to see this movie, you will...

External Linkage

Here's a little something for fans of one media realm I've been ignoring for far too long: Video Games. I always start the year strong with gaming, pick it up around E3, and then just kinda poop out in the fall doldrums before the X-mas rush even happens.

Well, I can't really promise that won't happen again this year, but we'll try. I'm already gearing up for my annual state of the union address.

In the meantime, here's a link to a little something at PADINGA, just a few random gaming stories I found interesting, and threw them together. Enjoy this for now, something bigger is on the horizon.

Oh, also, Break threw all of our archives on the site from BMX, so you can check out some old comics and past E3 adventures and such. Woot!

External Linkage

Got a review up on BrutalasHell.com, covering the upcoming horror flick, The Vanishing on 7th Street. You can either wait for theatrical release or, as these smaller movies have been doing lately, you can already find it on Amazon.com's VOD channels.

Follow the link to Brutal As Hell, and enjoy!

(these nearly identical links are for the VOD downloadable film, and for the Soundtrack, respectively. Choose, but choose wisely)

   

Old MacDonald Had a Zombie, ia ia oooooooongh

A new indy-distribution group called Maya-Entertainment has popped up, and sent a little bit out one of their upcoming horror releases to my inbox the other day. It looks interesting enough, so I thought I'd toss it up for you guys.

ZOMBIE FARM:
Part zombie, part voodoo! Desperate to end her husband’s domestic abuse, a young woman seeks asylum from a local voodoo priestess.  When warned that her husband (Khotan) may “change” if given a special potion, the abused wife is relieved.  But waking up in bed next to a zombie isn’t exactly the transformation she was hoping for.  Her once violent husband becomes the leader of a zombie uprising, terrorizing, and then converting the townsfolk into un-dead assassins.  Clearly, some things are far worse than death.





So, it obviously suffers from some of the usual bits of cheese thats typical to straight-to-video movies, particularly horror. I mean, the idea that people can be so focused on the spy video they're filming to not see a ring of about ten zombies circle their car and pop up from around them... yeah, video cheese, and a cheap jump-scare. 


Still, its kind of cool to see the notion of VooDoo zombies come back into play, as you don't really see it much any more. The rising popularity of Romero's zombie model continues to eclipse what had once been the sole vision of the zombie as a creation of black magic. Tales from the Crypt had some VooDoo creations in it, and I think before that the last feature about VooDoo was Serpent and the Rainbow. 
This seems to mix the two genres together, the undead appear to be pretty cannibalistic in that trailer; but still it could be interesting to see some magic, and someone crafting a little regional army of brainwashed ghouls. 


The DVD comes out March 8th, so it won't   be long before we can give it a shot!


Zombie Farm

Them Goldenest of Globes

Tomorrow is the 2010 Golden Globes. I thought I'd take a moment to try to guess the winners, and maybe chime in on the selection of 'best films' for this last year. Overall, it was a weak year for films, the lowest attendance in theaters in 15 years. Despite that, there are always some gems that stand out above the rest. Even so, a few crap films slipped into the mix this year. Ahhh, studio politics.

Oh, and we're going doing the film portion of this. I don't watch TV, can't fairly judge it.

So, here we go...

Best Motion Picture – Drama
Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The King’s Speech

The Social Network

Five great films. The Fighter was an unexpected addition to the lists, but its in almost every category. I think every year, its just required that there's a boxing movie up for best picture. Its a genre unto itself. Aside from that we've got a dark, female, character driven drama in Black Swan. You've got a crazy sci-fi commercial hit in Inception (the popular one, to give the ratings a boost). And to round it off you've got 2 historic dramas in Kings Speech and Social Network.

The smart money here is on The Social Network. Kings Speech and The Fighter are both good, but their direction is a bit pedestrian. Black Swan is an amazing film, but I don't think it has the wide appeal to win over the judges; also, telling an analog of Swan Lake in a movie about Swan Lake, might be too cheeky for some. Inception is great, but very exposition heavy, and those big sci-fi crazy films don't USUALLY win at awards time. They're more about concept than cinema.

In Social Network, you've got a smartly directed drama peppered with fine performances, and fantastic dialog. Its been on the top of most critics' top 10 lists all year, and I don't think that's bound to change now.

Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Alice in Wonderland

Burlesque

The Kids Are All Right

Red

The Tourist

Alice in Wonderland: Derivative Crap. Red: Predictable Crap. Burlesque and The Tourist: Just Crap. By process of elimination The Kids Are All Right will take it. That and its the only one with any dramatic punch on top of its comedy.

Best Director – Motion Picture

Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan

David Fincher – The Social Network

Tom Hooper – The King’s Speech

Christopher Nolan – Inception

David O. Russell – The Fighter

I immediately count out King's Speech and The Fighter. Kings Speech was good but too general. Fighter had some interesting shot choices, but the fight sequences were... ugh, just so bad. Movie wasn't really about that, but still, they looked like ass. Black Swan lacks any real problems, but I just don't think its going to push past the rest of the competition.

Its either Social Network or Inception here. 50/50 and I think I'm going to go with Inception as my guess here. While Social Network pulled better dramatic performances from its cast, Inception required an incredible eye for detail to pull off, and managed to turn a very complex, mentally taxing story into a popular success. I think only Nolan could have done that.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

Jesse Eisenberg – The Social Network

Colin Firth – The King’s Speech

James Franco – 127 Hours

Ryan Gosling – Blue Valentine

Mark Wahlberg – The Fighter

All fine performances here, but to me, it comes down between James Franco and Colin Firth. James Franco was the only man on screen for the majority of 127 Hours, and managed to keep you riveted with his one-man show. Meanwhile, Firth went through a complete transformation into Prince Albert with his very convincing speech tick. Look for Colin Firth to pull this one out, I think.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical

Johnny Depp – Alice in Wonderland

Johnny Depp – The Tourist

Paul Giamatti – Barney’s Version

Jake Gyllenhaal – Love And Other Drugs

Kevin Spacey – Casino Jack

Geh. All of these kind of came out of nowhere. Really, Jake Gyllenhaal for his turn in a fine but typically forgettable rom-com? Okay. Money is on Paul Giamatti. 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Halle Berry – Frankie and Alice

Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence – Winter’s Bone

Natalie Portman – Black Swan

Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine

Impressive as Jennifer Lawrence was as the young lead in Winter's Bone, I don't think she showed the transformation, the range of emotion of the other actresses here. Her age wins her points, but it isn't quite enough. For me the choice is Natalie Portman, and I think this is where Black Swan will win its deserved award.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Annette Bening – The Kids Are All Right

Anne Hathaway – Love And Other Drugs

Angelina Jolie – The Tourist

Julianne Moore – The Kids Are All Right

Emma Stone – Easy A

Again, Love and Other Drugs comes from nowhere. Interesting to see Emma Stone up there too, but I like her a lot. This one is going to one of the Kids Are All Right ladies. Flip a coin for which one ummmm... Annette Bening.

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Christian Bale – The Fighter

Michael Douglas – Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Andrew Garfield – The Social Network

Jeremy Renner – The Town

Geoffrey Rush – The King’s Speech

Of the group, Jeremy Renner's the weakest. Geoffrey Rush and Andrew Garfield were good in their parts, but I don't think they stole the show. No, Christian Bale and Michael Douglas were the best parts of the films they were in, shining above the lead actors. I give it to Christian Bale, who again transformed himself from Batman to a crack head, losing weight, gaining the accent the mannerisms. Great. If Douglas wins, it'll be on a cancer vote. Hate to say it, but that's just how the politics of Hollywood work. Congrats, Mr. Douglas, on your recently announced remission, tho.

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams – The Fighter

Helena Bonham Carter – The King’s Speech

Mila Kunis – Black Swan

Melissa Leo – The Fighter

Jacki Weaver – Animal Kingdom

Again, tough choices. And two more from The Fighter! Never expected it, but the movie really did run on strong character portrayals. Still, the only one who stole the show here was Mila Kunis. She ran on par with Natalie Portman's powerful lead, turning a one-woman show into an ensemble piece. The two of them had to play reflections of each other for the film to work. She's grown so much from That 70's Show, and has finally cut her teeth as a dramatic actress, even if it is as a femme fatale.

Best Animated Feature Film
Despicable Me

How To Train Your Dragon

The Illusionist

Tangled

Toy Story 3

If there's any dark horse here, its going to be The Illusionist, the seldom screened comedy by Sylvain Chomet, Director of the beloved Triplets of Belleville. Still, I think its a pretty safe bet that Toy Story 3 will take the prize here. It was good for kids, and still able to make adults weep at the end. Toy Story 3 brought a successful close to what I like to call 'The Abandonment Trilogy'. Those toys have issues.

Best Foreign Language Film
Biutiful (Mexico, Spain)

The Concert (France)

The Edge (Russia)

I Am Love (Italy)

In A Better World (Denmark)

I haven't seen all of these, but just to hazard a guess, it'll probably go to the intense Biutiful. Gotta love Javier Bardem

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Simon Beaufoy, Danny Boyle – 127 Hours

Christopher Nolan – Inception

Stuart Blumberg, Lisa Cholodenko – The Kids Are All Right

David Seidler – The King’s Speech

Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network

I liked all of these movies, but it has to go to The Social Network. There's no way around it. While the other movies were all driven by concept, The Social Network was driven by dialog and force of character. Aaron Sorkin is one of my screen-writing heroes, and here he showcases his mastery of wit, of characterization, and does it while adapting a long, complex series of events into two quickly passing hours.

Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Alexandre Desplat – The King’s Speech

Danny Elfman – Alice in Wonderland

A. R. Rahman – 127 Hours

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – The Social Network

Hans Zimmer – Inception

This award goes to Tron Legacy... wait, Tron isn't nominated for Best Score? Well that's bullshit. Say what you will about that movie, Daft Punk's score was pitch perfect, and can be listened to over and over again outside of the parameters of the movie.

Off hand, I'm going to go with Inception here, because it was the most memorable to me, but both 127 Hours and Social Network had great scores to accompany the films, so I wouldn't be surprised if either of them snuck up and took it.

Best Original Song – Motion Picture

“Bound To You” – Burlesque /Music By: Samuel Dixon /Lyrics By: Christina Aguilera and Sia Furler

“Coming Home” – Country Strong/ Music & Lyrics By: Bob DiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey and Troy Verges

“I See The Light” – Tangled/ Music By: Alan Menken/ Lyrics By: Glenn Slater

“There’s A Place For Us” – Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader/ Music & Lyrics By: Hillary Lindsey, Carrie Underwood and David Hodges

And as for best original song... ugh, I don't even care. None of these stuck with me even moments after the movie. Dawn Treader had a song? Oh, was that the one played over the credits? I think we talked over it. How moving.

I leave that one to you, dear audience...

So, that's my predictions, check back in a day or two and we'll have the tally. Agree, disagree? Shout it out!

Green Hornet: UK Style

Finally got out to another advance screening the other night: The Green Hornet!  But when I sat down to write the review, I found that fellow writer and friend across the pond, Ben Bussey, had already written a review. And not only that, but his thoughts pretty much mirrored my own. What a guy.

Well, anyway, I'm going to save myself some typing time by just sending you over to Ben. Go check out Ka-Boomski!  Its his awesome action blog, where you can read about Green Hornet, and all of the guilty pleasure of the action genre. Explosions abound!

KA-BOOMSKI!

A couple of quick additions, before you go:

- My preview was in 3-D, and I have to say that the 3-D is not worth the extra money here. There are very few sequences where its noticeable, and even when it is, you can tell it was added as an afterthought. The 'Kato-Vision' sequences work, but the rest is forgettable. Save the money, see it normally.

- The beginning is really, really choppy. One minute Seth Rogan is getting yelled at by his dad, hung over from a party, and then a cut and Seth Rogan is coming home from a party, and finds out his dad is dead. It seems like a bunch of establishing scenes were cut out. There's also references to the Green Hornet blowing up traffic cameras before a scene that appears to be the first time they actually do that with the car's missiles. It seems like the studio did a lot of re-cutting and trims. It moves quickly, but feels awkward. But then, it is 2 hours as is...

- I really wish they would have given a more definite ending to the film. I mean, it ends, the story resolves, but The Green Hornet never really evolves as a character. A final action sequence with he and Kato both able to fight as equals, set over the Green Hornet theme, would have been awesome. It really is Kato's film.

Well, between myself and Ben, I think you are now prepared. Green Hornet isn't a great film, but its worth seeing. A fun distraction. And after the studio had written it off as 'disaster' in their usual political games, that's a pleasant surprise.

Affection/Affectation- Movie Premiere

Woo! Busy month here. Despite unemployment, I spent a few weeks being too busy to really do any reviews or general blogs. Just about done with a new screenplay short, and will be working on it with Aubry Peters as soon as we can get together again, probably at the start of the new year.

In the meantime, I'm working at Amazon.com. Just call me Ramona Flowers.

On the creative front, Aubry and PMP Productions just finished their first full-length feature production. Its a little indy written and directed by Aubry, and featuring all of the PMP Crew in various roles. While it has its foibles due to budget constraints, the script is very heart-felt, and I think Aubry did a great job with his first real epic endeavor.

And I was a writing consultant, so of course I'm going to pimp the shit out of it.

The premiere is this week, Sunday the 12th at 7PM at the Granada in Lawrence, KS. Go on out, support some local cinema. Hell, its free, where else can you get 2 hours of free entertainment?

Synopsis:
Clint, Derek, and Ben, three young bachelors who think they have life figured out. By day its drinks and frisbee golf, by night its parties and an endless stream of sexual conquests. But when Clint is confronted by the return of 'the one who got away', the once unflappable bastard is forced to re-examine his lifestyle. 

Clint's quest for answers sends the household into tumult. Derek questions the solidarity of his long-term relationship, beginning a quest to recapture the passions of his single days. Meanwhile, Ben struggles to find compromise between his desire and his gentleman's ways. 

Can old flames be rekindled? How can you ever be sure you've found the right one? Do nice guys always finish last? They hope to find their answers hidden in the darkest corners of bars, the lowest depths of beer bottles, and between the sheets of strange women.

Once experts at 'the game', the trio finds the rules are changing around them, and within them. The lines between love, lust, and desperation may be more blurred than they had ever believed.

Did I mention it has an awesome soundtrack by Approach and others from his label? Cuz it does.